The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes! Looking back over my career I’m aware of how often I tried to remain invisible at work. Not that I didn’t want to contribute or make a difference in the organizations that I worked for but more often than not I chose to do this quietly and behind the scenes. Despite keeping a low profile I was often singled out for leadership roles and pushed into the “lime light”*. On at least one occasion I protested this unwanted attention but to no avail and in the end I became the manager of a day hospital for elderly patients. If truth be told this was one of the most satisfying times in my career and I am forever grateful to the senior leaders who saw the potential in me, despite my trying to remain out of their sight and “off the radar”. You see, as an introvert, I was much more comfortable in the role of educator, coach or mentor. I loved networking and connecting people and ideas and coming up with novel solutions to problems. I also loved the concept of community building as it applied to the workplace. But I wanted to do this on my own terms behind the scenes. In other words I wanted to remain invisible! In 2014 David Zweig described invisibles as, “a breed of highly satisfied professionals who are outliers because they eschew wider recognition for their efforts.” In his book, Invisibles: The Power of Anonymous Work In An Age of Relentless Self-Promotion, he identifies people who operate behind the scenes in almost every field yet have a huge impact on the success of the firms they work for. It is ok to be invisible if you want to be and this should come as a relief to introverts who often are encouraged to be gregarious and outgoing. But, having said that, I would urge you to think about your career goals and to find ways to get noticed especially if it means the difference between being happy and satisfied in your work or unhappy and frustrated because you are not achieving the things you want in life. Being invisible is one of the challenges faced by introverts who want to become leaders. In The Dynamic Introvert I write, “We may be so good at “hiding in plain sight” that our ideas are ignored or we are overlooked for plum assignments or job promotions.”  Does this sound like you? Tired of being overlooked? Here are three things that you can do right now: Be clear on your goals and what you want to achieve and develop a plan to help you reach your objectives. If being invisible is important to you then stand tall and let people know why you feel the way you do. Remember, you can still make a difference and feel satisfied by being an “unsung hero”. If you want to raise your profile and move into a more visible role then find ways to manage your energy and get clear on your values. Being clear on what is important to you will make it easier to say “no” when you need to. The Dynamic Introvert book * Although today being “in the limelight” means being at the center of attention in the 19th century it had a very different meaning. The limelight was an extremely bright light used in surveying and as stage lighting. It was first used in the theatre in 1837 at Covent Garden in London.

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How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

  How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed? The other week I participated in a meditation workshop at Tandava Yoga in Kelowna, B.C. While I was sitting on my mat I started thinking about how meditation might be of benefit to introverts. The purpose of meditation is to help us quiet our minds and over the years research has proven that meditation can help us to, among other things, reduce high blood pressure, sleep better, and improve our body’s immune functioning. In fact, meditation even helps students achieve better grades in school. But how can meditation help introverts to succeed? Stephen A Diamond, PhD writing in Psychology Today suggests that meditation is an “introverted activity one that extroverts should do more of and introverts less”. Diamond argues that introverts need to spend more time extroverting themselves in order to find balance in their lives. Fair enough. Getting back to the meditation class at Tandava Yoga, our instructor informed us that humans are capable of processing 2000 thoughts per hour. Those of you familiar with meditation will know about the “monkey brain” which refers to how our thoughts jump around in our heads not unlike a monkey jumping from tree to tree. I believe that the concept of the “monkey brain” applies equally to both introverts and extroverts. And I have to disagree with Dr. Diamond. Meditation may be an “introverted activity” in that it is typically done quietly but I believe that introverts should spend more time meditating, not less. You see, introverts tend to think too much. We like to spend time in our heads and when this activity is combined with the excess dopamine that naturally occurs in our introverted brains we are in danger of being overstimulated.  And this is what saps our energy and why we need to meditate in order to help us calm down and function better! There are many different types of meditation but the one thing that is common to all of them is learning how to slow down and focus on our breath. I found the following passage from Thich Nhat Hanh. It is called Thinking Less: “While we practice conscious breathing, our thinking will slow down, and we can give ourselves a real rest. Most of the time, we think too much, and mindful breathing helps us to be calm, relaxed, and peaceful…Of course, thinking is important, but quite a lot of our thinking is useless.” As an introvert thinking is my “fall-back position”. Even in a social situation I will often resort to thinking about what is going on or what I might say rather than just saying it. This is the exact opposite of what an extrovert will do. Most extroverts are more comfortable talking and don’t get stuck with words going round and round inside their heads. Meditation is an important skill for introverts to learn. It can help us to get control over our “monkey brain” so that we can focus on what we want to say or do. This is especially true when we are in situations where there are a lot of distractions because these external distractions make it difficult for us to think clearly. Meditation can also provide what Dr. Brian Little calls a “restorative niche”. This is the place we can go to in order to de-stress and re-energize.

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Take a Break: Your Life May Depend on It!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

  Take A Break – Your Life May Depend on It  The government in Japan recently announced that it is considering a new law requiring workers to take a minimum number of vacations days each year. Why? Japanese workers are renowned for karoshi or “working themselves to death”. In the rest of the world we may not be “working ourselves to death” but our inability to stop and take a break from work is having a negative impact in other ways. A short article in the February, 2015 issue of Psychology Today magazine begins with “Workers who take the most breaks get the most accomplished” and goes on to describe a study from the University of Illinois that specifically looked at the link between taking breaks and worker’s ability to focus.  Not surprisingly, those who stopped to take a short break about once every hour were more productive. Which begs the question: Why is it so difficult for most of us to stop and take our breaks? In a 2014 study, Staples, the giant office supply chain,  discovered that more than a quarter of us don’t take regular breaks because we feel guilty. Recently I emailed a colleague who works in health care. I wanted her to join me for lunch as we hadn’t been in touch for a long time. I know that she puts in long hours each day but she declined my offer saying that her place of work was now “a “human tsunami” resulting in even more demands on her limited time and making it impossible for her to meet me for lunch. In The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose, I encourage introverts to become aware of their need to take breaks in order to manage their energy requirements. Although introverts and extroverts have different approaches to recharging their batteries and we all need to stop work and take our breaks, introverts in particular need to stop working and detach themselves mentally in order to restore their energy.  Introverts also need to communicate why it is important for them to take a break and how this benefits the organization. For instance, instead of leaving your desk or workspace quietly, without saying anything, you might want to tell your colleagues why you are taking a break. “I’ve had back-to-back meetings all morning and I need to go for a walk.” Some of you can’t stop working except during your scheduled breaks. You have earned this respite so make sure you use that time to do what is important for you. Remember,  by taking your regular breaks you will be more productive and less stressed. This may be difficult at first and you may feel guilty but you will also make it easier for others to stop and take their breaks. So, take a break, your life may depend on it!  

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Dialogue At Work – The Dynamic Introvert’s Advantage

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

Dialogue at Work – The Dynamic Introvert’s Advantage Recently I was asked to share some suggestions for ways to draw out introverts in a group setting in order to enhance learning for themselves as well as for others. I quickly thought about a few different facilitation tools that would work (the nominal group technique is one) and then I remembered DIALOGUE. When I first read about using dialogue back in the 1990’s the idea really resonated with me.  In hindsight I think this was because, as an introvert, I struggled to get my voice heard above the cacophony of noise in most of the meetings that I attended. Introverts often struggle to be heard in meetings. Given our personality differences it should come as no surprise that introverts and extroverts communicate differently. Extroverts tend to talk more often, more quickly and more confidently while introverts listen more than they speak and may appear tentative and less confident.  Dialogue is an often overlooked facilitation tool that enhances learning and makes it possible for everyone to share their ideas and experiences. Dialogue is easy to learn but it takes a bit of practice to be able to use it effectively. What is dialogue? According to the Cambridge online dictionary dialogue is a “conversation that is written for a book, play, or film”. I’m using a somewhat different definition of dialogue in today’s blog post. Dialogue in this sense is a type of group communication that encourages participants to slow down, be in the moment and really listen to what everyone is saying. It is often used in situations where there is conflict or as William Isaacs, author of Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together, describes it, “dialogue is more than just the exchange of words, but rather the embrace of different points of view—literally the art of thinking together”.  Here is a list of ground rules that are typically used in a dialogue session: Listen and speak without judgement Acknowledge each speaker Respect differences Suspend your role and status Avoid cross-talk Focus on learning Check your assumptions  If you are an introvert and want to change the way your meetings are run so that you can “get a word in edgewise” you might introduce the idea of dialogue and offer to organize the first session. If your company or group already uses dialogue on a regular basis I would appreciate hearing about your experiences.  Here are two books that I’ve found useful and I’m sure there are many more resources available on the internet: On Dialogue by David Bohm published in 1996 and Perspectives on Dialogue: Making Talk Developmental for Individuals and Organizations by Nancy M. Dixon also published in 1996.  And if you are an introvert you probably have an advantage when it comes to using dialogue because you are wired to slow down and listen before you speak.            

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Make 2015 The Year of The Dynamic Introvert

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , ,

Make 2015 Your Year – The Year of the Dynamic Introvert Whether you are ready or not 2014 is rapidly coming to a close and it’s time to prepare for the New Year. Not everyone makes New Year’s resolutions but even if that is not your thing you can still benefit from these four recommendations: 1.Know thyself. This wise saying is most often credited to the Greek philosopher Socrates. It applies as much today as it did back in ancient times. People often make wrong assumptions about introverts because they have little or no information to base their judgements on. You may also be acting or reacting to this lack of understanding about what it means to be an introvert. The best advice I can give you is to know thyself.  You can create a SWOT Analysis to determine your strengths and areas for improvement. The SWOT tool was originally developed for the business leader who wanted to understand his or her company compared to its competitors. Today the SWOT is also used as a personal planning tool. SWOT stand for: S personal strengths that you can build on W personal weaknesses or areas for improvement O opportunities present in your workplace or industry T threats which include changes that might impact your career 2. Honor Who You Are. Knowing who you are and acting with integrity are the hallmarks of authenticity. As you become more aware of what it means to be an introvert and by tapping into your strengths you will become more confident and able to take some risks. This may include identifying and challenging some of the barriers that are getting in the way of your success. For too long now many of us have been made to feel inferior because we are not more extroverted. As introverts, it is not always easy to accept who we are when the world tells us that we should be more social, outspoken, energetic, exciting and forceful. By learning more about what it means to be a dynamic introvert we can build on our strengths and be confident about what we have to offer the world. 3. Develop Your Personality. You can be authentic and honor who you are and at the same time develop your personality. Sounds like a contradiction doesn’t it? Some say we are born with certain personality traits and these traits stay pretty much the same throughout our lives. But author and university professor Patricia Cranton argues in her book, Personal Empowerment through Type, that “we can consciously develop our personalities.” She goes on to say that “although we generally have a preference for introversion or extraversion we are likely able to function in both.” 4.Create Your Legacy. The start of a New Year is a great time to consider the legacy that you want to leave. Most of us do not think about our legacies when we are young and I had not thought about mine until I started teaching leadership classes. We all leave a legacy whether or not we are aware of it. One of the benefits of thinking about your legacy at an early age is that it can help guide you as you move forward in your life. Here are six questions to get you thinking about the legacy that you want to leave: – What difference do I want to make? – What will be my greatest contributions? – What do I want to create for myself and for those I care about? – How would I like to change the world for the better? – How do I want to be remembered? Whether you are ready or not 2014 is rapidly coming to a close. Even if you don’t like New Year’s resolutions I encourage you to challenge yourself to try something different this year…something that will take you out of your comfort zone and into the realm of new possibilities.   Happy New Year! The Dynamic Introvert Team

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Are You Introverted, Shy or Socially Anxious?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Can you tell the difference between introversion, shyness and social anxiety? Most of us can’t!  I recently watched a You Tube video featuring two young men discussing their struggles with introversion, or was it shyness, or perhaps it was social anxiety? I don’t really know and I don’t think they knew the difference either. Unfortunately, they are not alone in confusing these different ways of describing someone’s behavior. You see these two young men made the common mistake of using the words introversion, shyness and social anxiety interchangeably—as if they were one and the same. But they’re not! When I Googled the word shyness I immediately noticed that the word introversion was one of the synonyms provided by the popular search engine. No wonder people are confused! So, why is this a problem? I think that the main issue here is that with the right help shyness can be overcome and social anxiety can be treated.  But introversion does not need to be overcome nor can it be treated! It is a normal way of being in the world. Introversion is a personality trait and despite the growing number of books, videos, courses and blog posts available to us, there is still a lot of confusion about what it means to be an introvert. Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines it as “the state or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with or and interested in one’s own mental life”. Give me a break! I prefer the definition provided by author and self-described introvert Marti Olsen Laney, in her book The Introvert Advantage, “Introversion…is a healthy capacity to tune into your inner world. It is a constructive and creative quality that is found in many independent thinkers whose contributions have enriched the world. Introverts have social skills, they like people, and they enjoy some types of socializing.” Here’s another way of looking at introversion from psychology.about.com — “Introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved and introspective. Unlike extraverts who gain energy from social interaction, introverts have to expend energy in social situations. After attending a party or spending time in a large group of people, introverts often feel a need to “recharge” by spending a period of time alone.” Shyness is a fear and avoidance of social situations. According to Dr. Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute (SRI) at Indiana University Southeast we are not born shy. Shyness is characterized by three major features: excessive self-consciousness, excessive negative self-evaluation, and excessive negative self-preoccupation. Overcoming shyness starts with self-awareness. You’ll find useful tools and resources on the SRI website. And unlike introverts who feel energized by spending time alone, shy people often want to connect with others but are afraid to do so. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Social anxiety is the fear of interacting with others and when this fear becomes excessive and interferes with a person’s life it is considered a “disorder”. There is no known cause but the disorder is treatable. It has been said many times that the key to success in life is self-awareness.  So, if you are wondering whether or not you are shy, introverted or socially anxious then it’s time you found out.     The Dynamic Introvert!      

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