The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Quiet Is A Fast Depleting Resource

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , ,

  “Quiet is a fast depleting resource.”   Introverts need access to quiet spaces to maintain our health and well-being.  A fact we have been sounding the alarm about for years.  Now it seems that other groups are also concerned about the increased levels of noise in our cities and perhaps more alarmingly, in our parks. Where do you go when you need to get away from the maddening crowds? I find that a walk in nature is a perfect way to decompress, and I am fortunate to live close to a large rural park. Even then I have to pick a time when I know the park won’t be too crowded. I recently listened to a CBC interview with Canadian Jonathon Kawchuk, sound composer and volunteer with Quiet Parks International. Jonathon caught my attention when he said, “quiet solitude is a diminishing commodity.” As an introvert I find this fact alarming. Not only do I enjoy being outside in nature but my well-being suffers if I can’t find ways to decompress and recharge my batteries. I believe that everyone suffers to some degree if they are constantly bombarded by noise. Without sufficient time alone introverts may find themselves feeling irritated, unable to concentrate, anxious or depressed. Dark Skies and Quiet Spaces Despite the fact that many of us go to parks in order to get away from the noise and bustle of urban living recent studies by the United States Park Service found that “more than 60% of protected areas are exposed to noise that masks the natural sounds that would otherwise be heard.” Natural sounds such as birds singing, frogs chirping, insects buzzing, and rivers flowing are masked by the sounds of people talking loudly on their phones, recreational vehicles such as snow mobiles and off road motor bikes revving up their engines,  music playing loud enough to be heard on the moon and planes flying constantly overhead. Did you know that no single part of the Grand Canyon is free from aircraft noise? Some of the more popular parks in Canada and the United States see millions of visitors a year. The vast majority of them arrive by car or other private vehicle. Parks Canada recently made the unpopular decision to restrict vehicle access to Moraine Lake in Banff National Park. The decision was made in order to reduce stress on the wildlife and also decrease carbon emissions. Think Global, Act Local I was curious as to what was happening in my corner of the world and was pleased to learn about the Right to Quiet Society. “The Right to Quiet Society for Soundscape Awareness and Protection was founded in Vancouver, British Columbia in 1982 with the mission of raising public awareness of the detrimental effects of noise on health; promoting awareness of noise pollution and the dangers of noise to our physical, emotional, and spiritual wellbeing.” The group’s mission includes “fostering recognition of the right to quiet as a basic human right.” Since its beginning in 1982 the organization has been instrumental in helping make Vancouver a quieter city and has been working with the Vancouver Parks Board. You can find their list of accomplishments on the website. What comes to mind when you think of parks? For me its green spaces, nature and quiet but if we don’t act soon our quiet green spaces will be gone. What can you do to help maintain quiet parks in your corner of the world? [contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

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Introverts – Has the Pandemic Made You More Introverted?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts

This week two fellow introverts informed me that they are more introverted now than before the pandemic began. Lately I’ve been thinking the same thing about myself. Is it possible to become more introverted? I had to stop and think about this as I’ve spent much of my adult life trying to flex my extroverted muscle. As a result of the pandemic, you too may find that many of these “extroverted skills” like communicating in groups have become rusty with disuse. The pandemic has made it possible for us to do things at home, alone, that would have been virtually impossible prior to 2020: Working Studying Exercising Community service Listening to music Communicating with friends and family Prior to the pandemic I worked out regularly at a local community center. Once the community center stopped offering classes I quickly adapted and found online alternatives. Now Zoom allows me to join a live yoga class on Monday nights. I’m a member of an online yoga community. and I found countless exercise videos on Youtube. Add some outdoor activities like walking and cycling to the mix and I’m able to maintain my fitness on my own. Like many of you I worked at home before the pandemic. But the pandemic provided an unexpected gift in the form on a vast, global, online community of writers. I’ve been able to attend webinars and conferences that prior to the pandemic were prohibitive due to cost and distance. Some of these events are now being offered live but many will continue to be held in cyberspace. At the beginning of the pandemic my Toastmasters club moved our meetings online. Thanks to ZOOM I can now participate in TM clubs anywhere in the world. Toastmasters also moved its education programs and conferences online. And who doesn’t like a ZOOM happy hour with friends who live out of town? Is there such a thing as too much isolation? Yes, I found this out while writing my book The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose. At first it was enjoyable to be able to work at home on my own but after months of this solitary existence even I needed to connect with other people. As I was doing some research for this post, I came across the following quote: “Asked to consider what life will be like in 2025 in the wake of the outbreak of the global pandemic and other crises in 2020, some 915 innovators, developers, business and policy leaders, researchers and activists responded. Their broad and nearly universal view is that people’s relationship with technology will deepen as larger segments of the population come to rely more on digital connections for work, education, health care, daily commercial transactions and essential social interactions. A number describe this as a “tele-everything” world.” What does this mean for introverts?   We may be better prepared for 2025 than extroverts but spending too much time alone can have its downside. I challenge you to take stock of how your life has changed since early 2020. Have you become more introverted during this time? How has this affected your relationships, mental, emotional health, spiritual and physical health, etc. Perhaps its time to push yourself out of your comfort zone yet again.  I don’t know about you but I, for one, don’t want to live in a “tele-everything” world. There are lots of things that are more enjoyable live or in-person: concerts, theatre, dining with friends. The list is endless. Be kind, be well and stay calm! Lesley  

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Introverts Are You Dreading Going Back to Work?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , ,

Are You Ready to Go Back to Work? In a recent Washington Post article John Hackston, head of thought leadership at the Myers-Briggs Company stated, “Introverts are dreading return  to work”. Of course many of us will be happy to reconnect with colleagues and friends who we haven’t seen for over a year. Despite this we still may have some anxiety around returning to the workplace we left more than a year ago. The pandemic has changed many things including our places of work. This is not a bad thing as now, more than any other time in history, employers are willing to consider accommodating the needs of workers. Take Control of Your Destiny! In my previous blog post I wrote, “Taking charge will mean deciding what works for you and then being ready and willing to negotiate with your employer.” If you are alarmed at the thought of negotiating a return to work on your terms, don’t be. Negotiation expert and author of Say Less, Get More: Unconvential Negotiation Techniques, Fontini Iconomopoulos, argues that the key to effective negotiation is the ability to listen, really listen, to what the other person has to say. And listening is something that introverts do well! Listening helps us see things from the other person’s perspective helping us to understand where they are coming from. This is the key to successful negotiations. Negotiating Tips from an Expert Listening to our boss is the first step. In addition we will want to consider the following tips provided by Iconomopoulos during a CBC radio interview this week: Clarify your personal values Demonstrate the benefits of what you are proposing (make it difficult for your boss to say no) Prepare for the discussion by practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend Create and anchor and have your anchor ready Iconomopoulos uses the anchor as a metaphor. When you are in a boat and you don’t want to drift you can drop your anchor to secure your position in the water. In the same way your anchor will help you focus on your bottom line during negotiations. Your anchor will most certainly include your values or what’s important to you. Knowing your values will help you set personal boundaries so you can say no to requests that create a conflict. Requests such as returning to work as it was prior to the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Introverts Make Great Negotiators How do introverts measure up as negotiators? According to author Karen Burns, in a Seattle Times article, introverts make some of the best negotiators because… We listen We are comfortable with silence We do our research and are prepared To successfully negotiate you will also need to “find your voice” and speak up. The best advice I can give you is to join Toastmasters  The aim of this non-profit educational organization is to help members to learn how to communicate. 350,000 + people in 143 countries around the world can’t be wrong. The program works! Just remember, negotiation is not about getting everything you want. It’s about finding a mutually beneficial solution for both parties. a solution that you can both live with!    

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Introverts – Are You Ready to Return to Work?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , ,

  We have been waiting for well over a year to get back to “normal”. For many of us this means returning to work. Depending on where you live and the type of work you do this may be causing some anxiety. In Canada a KPMG poll revealed that 54% of Canadians feel anxious about returning to work. Of course, if you were fortunate enough to have a job that was deemed essential or a company that let you work from home you would have continued working all along. Jill is the COO of an engineering firm. She worked from home while restrictions were in place but moved back to her office as soon as it was feasible. My nephew Bill is an electrician and his brother Steve is a plumber so they continued to work on construction projects throughout the entire pandemic. People employed in retail and the hospitality industries had fewer options during the lockdown. But introverts who stopped working or worked from home may be feeling anxious about returning to work. The best remedy is to take charge and create an action plan based on your needs. Have a Re-entry Plan Taking charge will mean deciding what works for you and then being ready and willing to negotiate with your employer. Canada Life recently posted: “Studies have shown fear of the unknown can significantly compound anxiety. Being worried about the uncertain, known as anticipatory anxiety, can leave you feeling overwhelmed and powerless.” To remove some of this uncertainty, speak to your boss about what a return to work will look like. Canada Life recommends that you find answers to the following questions: Will all employees be returning or will we be taking a phased approach? How many employees will be returning at once? Have any physical changes been made to the working environment? How will measures such as face covering and social distancing be enforced? Are any other workplace safety measures in place? Will you be providing any PPE equipment, such as masks? Do Your Homework  All over the world we are seeing examples of how employers are taking the needs of their employees into consideration. Your place of work should have a formal return to work plan based on government health guidelines. Do a “dry run”. Go back to your place of work and look around. Talk to people who are already working. Ask them what their experience has been like. If you are looking for ideas to take to your boss do some research on-line. Many organizations are encouraging employees to continue working from home at least in the short term. And there are numerous examples of how companies are adapting in order to get their employees safely back to work. The Bank of England is asking staff to return to the office in September starting with a minimum of once a week. A form of graduated return to work. You may be able to arrange a graduated return to work or negotiate fewer hours for the first few weeks And Now for the Good News! Peter Cheese, chief executive of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) said recently in a BBC interview: “Freedom Day‘ shouldn’t signal a mass return to workplaces, but it could signal the start of greater freedom and flexibility in how, when and where people work.”  

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Introverts are Valued But Still Not Seen as Leaders

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , ,

Do Extroverts Make Better Leaders? In 2015 when I wrote The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose the ideal leader was someone with an extroverted personality.  Of course we (I’m a card carrying introvert myself) failed to measure up, especially in the workplace. At that time, and for decades before, introverts were overlooked for leadership positions in favor of their more outgoing extroverted colleagues. Introverts Are Valued Now More Than In The Past When I saw that Dr. Karl Moore, assistant professor at McGill University was giving a talk to UBC business students about introverts, extroverts and ambiverts I wanted to see what, if anything, had changed. I wanted to hear what Moore had to say. Had he discovered anything new since 2015 when I had published my book? Are Introverts Finally Getting the Recognition and Respect that they Deserve? Dr. Moore stated that “We value introverts more now than in the past.” So far so good. But then he said “You have to be extroverted or act extroverted to get into the C-Suite.” The C-Suite is code for senior leadership: Chief Executive Officers, Presidents, Directors, Vice Presidents etc. Here’s an example from a Wall Street Journal article that I quoted in my book: Nearly two-thirds of the 1, 542 senior leaders surveyed in 2006 saw introversion as an impediment to reaching higher (C-Suite) management levels. Extroverts, it would seem by virtue of their outgoing personalities were more intelligent and therefore chosen for leadership roles more often than introverts. Ok, so nothing much has changed. Or has it? Getting To The C-Suite Moore spoke to the need for introverts to change their behavior, in other words to act more extroverted. But he also stated that extroverts need to behave like their introverted colleagues. In other words listen more than they talk, share the limelight with others, and be humble! “Acting like and E or an I when you’re not is exhausting.” Moore told the audience. Of course, introverts discovered this years ago. I learned to take breaks in order to recover my depleted energy, especially after teaching a class or facilitating a meeting. After teaching a leadership class all day I would go home EXHAUSTED! This may sound strange to you but after re-reading my notes I thought to myself, “Why are we all trying to be something we are not?” “Why all the acting out of character if it is so exhausting? “ Throughout my career I struggled to be more extroverted. I found it extremely difficult to speak up in meetings which were dominated by extroverts, each speaker louder than the next. My answer was to join Toastmasters where I learned to speak confidently in front of groups. This was a good thing. Initially it was exhausting and it took me years of practice before I was comfortable speaking in a group. We all need to communicate if we are going to have healthy relationships and we all need to be able to speak up and share our ideas, especially at work. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up! Thankfully, the time spent at Toastmasters working on my communication skills paid off but don’t worry I have not become an extrovert. I developed my own unique style of communication. I still pause more than some of my more extroverted colleagues but I feel confident when speaking in front of a crowd and I like the fact that I can contribute my ideas in breakout rooms during ZOOM meetings. If you are an introvert you may disagree with my suggestion that you learn to speak up and speak out. I  I agree that we should be accepted for who we are without having to become extroverts in order to fit into society’s expectations of the ideal leader. But now extroverts are also being told that they need to change their personalities to act more introverted. Moore found in his research that introverts are valued more now than in the past but is it enough?  

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Mindfulness For The Overthinking Introvert

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Mindfulness for the Overthinking Introvert Mindfulness is a super power and accessible to you anytime, says Dan Harris author and former ABC news anchor. I’ve often wondered if overthinking or ruminating is more common for introverts. I think we spend more time “in our heads” thinking about things. That’s how we process new information and how we re-energize. Extroverts, on the other hand prefer to process new information by talking with someone. It’s also how they re-energize.  Is one approach healthier than the other? Of course not! Neither approach is superior; it’s just the way we are wired. But if you are like me and have lost sleep worrying about something or missed out on an opportunity because you took too long to make a decision you may want to find ways to stop overthinking. What exactly is rumination anyway? According to one dictionary ruminating mean deep thinking. Put this way it doesn’t seem so bad. We all admire deep thinkers over people who don’t seem to have a serious thought in their heads. Like me, you have probably spent time thinking about the state of the world, about the forest fires burning in California and the Amazon jungle, or the huge pile of plastic that is floating around in the Pacific Ocean. I hate to admit it but I have spent sleepless nights laying awake worrying about these things. Thinks I really can’t do much about, at least not while I’m trying to sleep. The end result, apart from not sleeping, has been an increase in feeling anxious and scared. Yes, rumination does have a negative side and it can lead to anxiety and depression if we don’t become aware of how our ruminating is hurting us.  And it can lead to isolation if you spend so much time in your head that it prevents you from spending time with other people. Are introverts prone to overthinking. According to scientists, the two areas of the brain associated with overthinking — the frontal cortex and Broca’s area — are very active in introverts. The frontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for remembering, planning, decision-making, and problem-solving, while Broca’s area is associated with self-talk. Researchers found that it didn’t matter whether introverts were in a resting state or engaged in a task — they all showed more brain activity than the extroverts. This means introverts may process more information than extroverts per second, which helps explain why introverts are prone to overthinking. ! So, how to stop yourself from ruminating/worrying? One way is to try and stop the worrying thoughts. Easier said than done but mindfulness really is a superpower and a set of skills that can be learned fairly easily. What is mindfulness? “Mindfulness is “moment to moment awareness” wrote Jon Kabat-Zinn in his groundbreaking book, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness. There are different ways to learn how to be mindful. Some years ago, I had high blood pressure and signed up for an 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course taught by psychologist Marian Smith in Vancouver. After the course and practicing mindfulness regularly for a short period of time my BP was back to normal. MBSR is modeled after the course that Jon Kabat-Zinn developed at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. There are many ways to learn mindfulness meditation both on-line and in person. One of the most successful examples of how the use of mindfulness provides tangible benefits comes from Google in the form of the Search Inside Yourself (SIY) program. What began as the vision of Google engineer Chade-Meng Tan back in 2007 has now become a worldwide phenomenon. SIY is available to individuals, organizations and communities in 50 countries around the world. The course is based on the best-selling book: Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and world peace) by Chade-Meng Tan. If you are an introvert who would like to lead a more mindful life you have many options to chose from. Do a bit of research and pick one to start with. Maybe try taking 3 deep breaths when you are feeling overwhelmed. Or sign up for a mindfulness mediation course on-line or in person. One final suggestion, try not to spend too much time thinking about which one approach might work for you. All are proven to be beneficial. Cheers! @lesleyauthor    

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