The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Leading with Meaning and Purpose

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , , ,

What does it mean to lead with meaning and purpose? How will knowing your purpose make you a better leader? How can you tap into your purpose? What exactly is purpose? Purpose, is the reason we exist! As humans we want to know what our lives are about and that our existence matters. If you are curious about how meaningful your life is you can check out the Meaning of Life Questionnaire (MLQ) and other resources at the University of Minnesota’s Lab for the Study of Meaning and Quality of Life. What is the link between meaning and purpose? For starters, if you are engaged in work that taps into your purpose, you are more likely to find your work meaningful. When I’m engaged in work that I find meaningful I notice that I feel: Happier Less stressed Confident Powerful Motivated Creative Generous Energized And I attract people who want to work with me. But what has this got to do with leadership? Everything! As an introvert, a writer and a leader I have been most interested in the link between how I live my life and the amount of energy that I have. Being a leader in today’s chaotic workplace is exhausting for many of us. In order to survive we need to have an edge and being able to tap into our personal energy source (the one that comes from living a life that has meaning) is priceless. Working on something that you find meaningful will energize you and, Help you did deep in order to complete a long and challenging change management project. Help you present a talk or facilitate a meeting (especially important for introverts who may find this aspect of work stressful). Help you ace an important job interview. In a recent webinar psychologist Michael Arloski, noted that purpose is something that we discover. Some people find their purpose early in life. Others take longer. Some unfortunate people may never find out what they are truly meant to do with their lives. Of course meaning and purpose can change over time and we can have more than one purpose. If you lead with meaning and purpose you are more likely to experience a higher sense of mental health and wellbeing and likely be a more effective leader.  

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Introverts Unite: Recognize and Celebrate Your Quiet Strengths

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

We all have them–strengths I mean. Unfortunately, introverts, especially those of us working in extroverted work environments may not value our strengths. In fact, we may focus more on our weaknesses, comparing ourselves to our more outgoing and energetic co-workers. It’s no wonder we act this way as we are encouraged from an early age to be more extroverted. This is what author Susan Cain describes as “the extrovert ideal”. She writes, “We live with a value system that I call The Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.” Fortunately, in our fast-paced, hyper-active and unfocused world, there is a growing recognition that the strengths that introverts bring to the workplace are vital for the success of both individuals and the organizations that they work in. And as we learn to value our introverted strengths we can be role models for others. But first we may need to identify, develop, value and accept our quiet strengths. Each of us will have our own strengths but I’d like to share a few that I think are worth celebrating: Listening and engaging others which are important leadership skills Staying cool and calm under pressure Thinking first and talking later which usually leads to better decision-making Networking because we tend to listen and develop close relationships with people Sales because we listen and are able to develop relationships with a diverse group of people Conflict resolution…again because we are able to listen and allow space for others to solve their own problems So, how do we go about identifying our strengths? There are many different ways to do this depending on how much time and money we have. The cheapest may be just to ask yourself some questions and reflect on your answers: What energizes you? How can I do more of this? What do you value about who you are and what you do for others? What have you accomplished so far in life and how have you been able to this? And there are some brilliant on-line resources and tools such as the ones available from the Authentic Happiness website at the University of Pennsylvania which offers a free “short strengths survey”. Another way to identify your unique strengths is to ask other people so be prepared to listen to the positive things that people have to say about who you are and what you do best. Cheers!  

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Do You Suffer from Imposter Syndrome? You’re Not Alone!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Are introverts more likely to worry about how we are perceived by others? What is imposter syndrome anyway? These are some of the questions I’ve been pondering this week. The term first appeared on our radar in the 1970s. Imposter syndrome (IS) was described by Dr. Pauline R. Clance in reference to high-achieving individuals who were unable to recognize their accomplishments and had a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. The main symptoms appear to be anxiety or fear. Most of us feel self-doubt at some point in our careers. This is especially true when we first start out or have been recently promoted. But when this self-doubt continues for a protracted period of time it can have a negative impact on our health and our success in life. When I graduated from the University of British Columbia with my newly minted social work degree I felt like a fraud; I had virtually no experience and yet I was expected to help my clients deal with challenging life and death issues. Like many people who suffer from (IS) I felt that once I had more experience I would feel more confident. My “plan of attack” was to continually take work-related courses and work hard. But is this more of an issue for introverts? According to professor of adult education Stephen Brookfield, “introverts are less likely to admit to others that they are struggling and more likely to obsess or ruminate on their own.” On the plus side, Dr. Brookfield acknowledges that “Imposter Syndrome keeps us humble and aware of areas we need to improve on.” But aren’t most introverts already humble enough? Pamela Catapia, registered clinical counsellor agrees that there is a plus side to imposter syndrome, “If you have IS, you’re likely a caring conscientious, talented person who has both the desire and the capacity to improve the world.” Many of her clients have unrecognized or underutilized leadership skills. To summarize, it is ok to feel self-doubt and it is in fact normal. But if our self-doubt continues for a long period of time or interferes with our ability to do our work or to advance in our careers then we need to do something about it. One of the most effective methods of overcoming self-doubt is Mindfulness Meditation. According to Marian Smith, mindfulness teacher in Vancouver, self-compassion practices teach us how to: handle difficult emotions with greater ease motivate ourselves with kindness rather than criticism increase our emotional strength & resilience admit our shortcomings & forgive ourselves when needed relate wholeheartedly to others & be more authentically ourselves Mindfulness meditation is taught all over the world. If you live in the Vancouver area I highly recommend Marian Smith as a teacher.  

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Cultivating Inclusion: Help People Succeed as Themselves!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , , ,

  Over the years a considerable amount has been written about creating more diverse workplaces. As I was writing The Dynamic Introvert I became aware of the fact that introverts often feel excluded, especially when it comes to leadership opportunities. Of course introverts are not the only ones who feel this way which begs the question, “how do we create workplaces and schools that are inclusive for everyone?”. Diversity is the NORM but inclusion is not. Not long ago I read an article urging readers to “start building actively inclusive environments”. This makes more sense to me than focusing on, for example, increasing the number of disabled workers, or the number of transgendered people, or the number of introverts in management/leadership positions. According to Meri Williams of Agile People in Sweden, “We must help people succeed as themselves and decrease the impact of failure and the risk of humiliation.” What a brilliant idea! But what would an actively inclusive environment look like??? “An inclusive workplace is one where all differences brought to the workplace are recognized. Where people feel valued and that their contribution is considered important.” Step-up B.C. There always seems to be one marginalized group or another or even whole groups of people who are excluded from participating fully. Diversity programs are not new and are even mandated in some places. Vancity Credit Union’s work inclusion program “aims to increase the number of employees with disabilities in the credit union’s workforce.” Often a person’s disability is obvious but not always. Sometimes we can hide who we really are in order to fit into the existing culture. Gays, lesbians and transgendered people might fit into this category. But pretending to be someone you are not can take its toll: “People perform better when they can be themselves. As much as 40% better. Much energy is spent if you have to hide who you really are or pretend to be something you are not.” Stonewall, How do we create a more inclusive workplace?  Start with a VISION of what that would look like in  your organization. Include everyone in this work. Years ago I attended an OD workshop in which the President of the White Spot Restaurant chain, which, by the way, is one of the most successful restaurants in B.C., talked about how his company had taken 3 years to create its vision and how they had tried to involve as many employees as possible during that time. One of the participants asked him what he would do differently next time around and he said, “He would provide more opportunities for people to be involved in the  process.” Here are a few more things you can do to create a more inclusive workplace: Be a learner. Be willing to challenge yourself and grow. Be inquisitive. Seek a range of perspectives. Model inclusive behaviours. Demonstrate that “none of us is as smart as all of us.” Champion the change effort. Be an active advocate for change. Speak out when necessary. Hold the organization accountable. Hold yourself and your colleagues accountable for all of the above.

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The Mysterious Introvert

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , ,

The Mysterious Introvert   Do you know any introverts? We are the quiet ones. We prefer our own company. And we certainly don’t like public speaking? Or do we? Introverts are full of contradictions. We often confuse people and sometimes we even confuse ourselves. What is an introvert you ask? When I started writing my book The Dynamic Introvert I discovered how little I understood introversion and how little I knew myself. My Awakening!  Let me give you an example, a few years ago I worked on a management team for a large non-profit organization. One Monday morning Susan, the head of the physiotherapy department, stopped and asked me how my weekend had been. I paused to consider her question and then instead of responding to her immediately I had a conversation with myself, in my HEAD: I thought, “should I tell her about the hike I went on yesterday? or should I tell her about the dinner party I organized on Saturday? Or? All of a sudden I noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she was walking away. The fact that she walked away struck me as odd but it wasn’t until I started doing research for my book that the light bulbs started going off!!! It’s no wonder people are confused. For decades it was believed that introverts were in the minority, at least in North America, and compared to extroverts, we were described as: withdrawn, boring, unsociable, shy, not high in confidence, and self-centred. Who was deliberately spreading this inaccurate information? Was there a conspiracy? Ever since psychiatrist Carl Jung introduced the personality traits of introversion and extroversion to the world, about 100 years ago, we’ve been told that extroverts comprise a whopping two-thirds of the population. So in order to be successful introverts have tried really hard to act like extroverts; it seemed as if extroverts got all the breaks: the best jobs, the promotions and other opportunities. But in reality there are as many introverts as extroverts. Self-Preservation 101: (the introverted brain) Another thing you should know is that introverts are easily aroused. All joking aside it doesn’t take much for us to become overstimulated. Our brains are wired differently from extrovert’s brains. We have more blood flow and electrical activity in the “neo cortex”. When this happens our brains may “shut down” and stop functioning. A few years ago I was at a Toastmasters Evaluation workshop. In the morning we listened to some great speakers and in the afternoon we broke into small groups. In my small group I was told that I would be summarizing our discussion and reporting back to the plenary session. That’s when my difficulties began. I didn’t know it at the time but my brain was highly aroused by all the activity and noise in the room and I quickly became overwhelmed. We were in a LARGE, NOISY room and it seemed as if everyone was talking at once. I tried to write down the comments that people were making so that I could summarize them but the more I tried to focus the more my brain BUZZED until eventually it shut down. At least that’s what it felt like! Later on when I was asked to report on our group’s discussion, my mind went blank, and I stumbled over my report. I was mortified. Looking back I now realize that I should have excused myself from the working group and found a quiet spot to THINK and process all of the information that I had taken in. The Mysterious Introvert To some people we are mysterious but to others we are downright annoying. It’s fairly easy to know who the extroverts are. They are the life of the party…the person with the lampshade on his or her head surrounded by a circle of laughing friends. In contrast, the introverts are lined up along the wall looking like they would rather be anywhere else. Or is it the opposite? In reality an introvert is not always easy to spot. We may, in fact, be the life of the party. Pass the lampshade please! Where we really get into trouble is in the workplace. We drive the extroverts crazy because in meetings we don’t say very much and they have to try to guess what we are thinking. The extroverts feel that we are unprepared or simply don’t have any opinions, so they dominate more; and the introverts stop trying. And they may even disappear…in plain sight. But it’s not completely our fault. Blame it on our brains. When we take in a lot of new information we need to think about it before we discuss it. Extroverts have the advantage here because they process information by talking about it. One solution is to raise our hands and wait to be recognized, which doesn’t always work. Another is to join Toastmasters and find our voices! Introverts of the world unite indeed!!! This post was adapted from a speech that I gave recently at my Toastmasters Club.  

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Self-Leadership and Personal Mastery by Lesley Tayor

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , ,

Self-Leadership and Personal Mastery Peter Senge popularized the concept of “personal mastery” in his classic book The Fifth Discipline. A huge part of personal mastery is the ability to know and develop aspects of one’s personality. It is human nature to want to understand what makes us “tick”: What are we good at? Where are our weaknesses or our areas for growth? What do other people think about us? What does our personality say about us? Self-assessment is a skill that can be learned and doing this work (and sometimes it does feel like work) is a life-long journey in which we take responsibility for our own development. There are many tools and resources that we can use to help us as we seek to learn more about ourselves. The MBTI or Myers Briggs Type Indicator is one such tool. As many of you know the MBTI is used by millions of people around the world and is popular with human resources professionals. A few weeks ago I completed the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator certification, something I’d considered doing over the years but never had the opportunity to do until recently. In taking the MBTI training I was surprised to learn that Myers Briggs is more than just the 16 – 4 letter type combinations, e g INTJ or ESFP. And going into the training I have to admit I was rather sceptical. Apart from learning about my own personality type, I was surprised to discover that the MBTI is not a personality test at all and should not be used to predict job fit or leadership potential. The instructor dealt with some of my scepticism by explaining the important difference between personality type and personality traits. She also explained that the MBTI, if used properly, can help us gain insights into the following: Where and how we focus our attention which is related to where we get our energy from How we prefer to take in information How we prefer to make decisions based on that information How we prefer to deal with the external world Knowing and acting on this knowledge can help us to become better leaders. It’s important to recognize that personality traits are different from personality type. Psychologists study and measure what are referred to as the big five personality traits (OCEAN): Openness Conscientiousness Extroversion/Introversion Agreeableness Neuroticism Personality psychologists are able to measure our personality traits and determine how much of a particular trait each of us has and how we compare with other people on these measures. If you are planning to hire someone for a job that requires a large measure of agreeableness, for example, a personality test may help you to determine which of your candidates is the best “fit”. The Myers Briggs Indicator does not measure personality and so cannot assist you in this aspect of your hiring process. I will share some of what I learned about the MBTI in future posts. There are many different personality tests all with their own strengths, weakness and limitations. It’s also important to note that our personalities are partly determined by genetics and partly determined by the environment that we grew up in. We can also influence our personalities by consciously developing our skills and choosing to adapt our behaviors. Despite helping us to better understand ourselves and others, it is important to remember that personality tests are not the answer to everything and should be used accordingly. Cheers! The Dynamic Introvert    

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