Are You Introverted, Shy or Socially Anxious?
Can you tell the difference between introversion, shyness and social anxiety? Most of us can’t!
I recently watched a You Tube video featuring two young men discussing their struggles with introversion, or was it shyness, or perhaps it was social anxiety? I don’t really know and I don’t think they knew the difference either. Unfortunately, they are not alone in confusing these different ways of describing someone’s behavior.
You see these two young men made the common mistake of using the words introversion, shyness and social anxiety interchangeably—as if they were one and the same. But they’re not!
When I Googled the word shyness I immediately noticed that the word introversion was one of the synonyms provided by the popular search engine. No wonder people are confused!
So, why is this a problem? I think that the main issue here is that with the right help shyness can be overcome and social anxiety can be treated. But introversion does not need to be overcome nor can it be treated! It is a normal way of being in the world.
Introversion is a personality trait and despite the growing number of books, videos, courses and blog posts available to us, there is still a lot of confusion about what it means to be an introvert. Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary defines it as “the state or tendency toward being wholly or predominantly concerned with or and interested in one’s own mental life”. Give me a break!
I prefer the definition provided by author and self-described introvert Marti Olsen Laney, in her book The Introvert Advantage, “Introversion…is a healthy capacity to tune into your inner world. It is a constructive and creative quality that is found in many independent thinkers whose contributions have enriched the world. Introverts have social skills, they like people, and they enjoy some types of socializing.”
Here’s another way of looking at introversion from psychology.about.com — “Introverts tend to be more quiet, reserved and introspective. Unlike extraverts who gain energy from social interaction, introverts have to expend energy in social situations. After attending a party or spending time in a large group of people, introverts often feel a need to “recharge” by spending a period of time alone.”
Shyness is a fear and avoidance of social situations. According to Dr. Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute (SRI) at Indiana University Southeast we are not born shy. Shyness is characterized by three major features: excessive self-consciousness, excessive negative self-evaluation, and excessive negative self-preoccupation. Overcoming shyness starts with self-awareness. You’ll find useful tools and resources on the SRI website.
And unlike introverts who feel energized by spending time alone, shy people often want to connect with others but are afraid to do so. Both introverts and extroverts can be shy.
Social anxiety is the fear of interacting with others and when this fear becomes excessive and interferes with a person’s life it is considered a “disorder”. There is no known cause but the disorder is treatable.
It has been said many times that the key to success in life is self-awareness. So, if you are wondering whether or not you are shy, introverted or socially anxious then it’s time you found out.
The Dynamic Introvert!