Introverts Can Be Assertive Too!
INTROVERTS CAN BE ASSERTIVE TOO!
Why do so many of us struggle to find the courage to speak up? Over the years I struggled to be assertive. For some reason I found it easier when I was defending my family or the people I worked with. Once I witnessed a man bullying another man in the hospital where I worked. I didn’t speak up and my lack of action haunted me for a long, long time.
WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS?
Assertiveness is the ability to “honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, in a way that doesn’t infringe on the rights of others.”
According to Vancouver author and psychologist Randy J. Paterson, “assertiveness is a style and it is one of four styles which include passive, aggressive and passive-aggressive.”
Being passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive can have negative connotations. When we are too passive or too aggressive, we may find that our mental health suffers. These behaviors are associated with anxiety, depression and lack of confidence.
We all use these styles at different times although most of us use one of styles more than the others. You probably have some idea of which style you prefer but if not Psychology Today provides a good test that you can use. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/tests/personality/assertiveness-test
SUGGESTIONS FOR INTROVERTS
Introverts are often seen as being passive because we tend to be quiet and often keep our thoughts to ourselves. If we can’t get our point across, we risk being ignored or worse, find ourselves the target of the workplace bully.
In the recent issue of Canadian Living Magazine author Liza Findlay shared some thoughts on how to be more assertive in the face of discrimination or bullying, here are a couple of her suggestions:
Speak up without saying a word. Non-verbal communication speaks volumes. Use assertive body language such as maintaining direct eye contact and keeping your head up. Use hand gestures to indicate “no” or “stop” and don’t forget to breathe. Focusing on your breath can be very calming
Get Backup: Find allies, people who are also concerned about the same things you are and work together to raise your concerns. Does your company’s culture need a refit? Contact someone in the human resources department. Most organizations today are aware of the impact of bullying and want to avoid negative press.
ASSERTIVENESS IS A SKILL THAT CAN BE LEARNED!
It takes courage to speak up and there could be repercussions so be sure to weigh the risks. As with any skill assertiveness does get easier with practice.
Toastmasters is a great place to develop your skills and find your voice.