Do Introverts Really Prefer Solitude?
Do Introverts Really Prefer Solitude?
Recently the online magazine Profit Guide published a story about introverts, leadership and entrepreneurship. The article began with a story about Richard Branson the self-described introvert & entrepreneur who created the Virgin Group of companies. Yes, another high profile leader who is also an introvert.
One of Profit Guide’s readers, who felt compelled to comment on this article, stated that the biggest different between introverts and extroverts is that introverts “prefer solitary activities to group situations”.
I don’t agree. In fact, not all introverts prefer solitary activities to groups. The dynamic introverts among us, those who enjoy socializing and group activities have learned how to manage our energy. We may need some down time but that doesn’t mean that we prefer to do things on our own. We may just be more comfortable with solitude than many extroverts are.
We know that introverts need down time or alone time and that this is especially important for leaders who have heavy demands on their time and energy. But is this what really differentiates introverts from extroverts?
The other night I was a guest at a house party where two of the guests, both self-described introverts, were busy socializing in the kitchen most of the night.
In comparison the host of the party, another introvert, spent most of his time either alone on the patio or sitting in the dark in the living room. Every so often he would appear in the kitchen for a quick chat, a drink, or a bite to eat and then he would retreat into solitude. So, when people think about introverts they may believe that we are all like Tom.
Perhaps Tom is onto something. Spending time in solitude is not a bad thing, in fact lots of people are only now waking up to the benefits of spending time alone.
Since writing The Dynamic Introvert I find myself increasingly fascinated by the behaviors of the introverts who I meet. We are all vastly different and it is not fair to paint us all with the same introverted brush. What we need to do is to recognize that we are all different and that no two introverts are alike.
What do you think? Do introverts really prefer solitude to group activities?
As a card-carrying introvert, I definitely derive strength from solitude over group interaction. I find social groups frustrating and can’t seem to get a word in edgewise in a conversation, whether with family or friends. I’m not sure if it is my soft voice tone or my manner, but the only way I can contribute in group discussions is to interrupt and speak louder, usually drowning out someone else’s sentence. That is frustrating to the extreme and makes me even more want to retreat into solitude.
On the other hand, I love both one on one interactions with persons of open minds and receptive spirits, as I do giving presentations to a group on a theme I’m passionate about.
But enough of me, what about others?
Excuse me while I retreat to my hermit’s cave. Smile.
Hi there, why is it that we have to interrupt and speak louder than other people to get our message across? Did you know that “blurting” is common among introverts. We wait, and wait, and wait to speak and then we can’t hold our thoughts in any longer and out they come…often long after the conversation has turned toward something else. I wonder if some of us find it easier to speak up in social groups vs groups at work? I’m looking forward to one of your presentations. Cheers, Lesley