Loneliness And Solitude Are Not The Same
Healthy Solitude is Good for Everyone–Especially Introverts
Loneliness is not the same as solitude. Too much time alone can be bad for your health. On the other hand, not enough time alone isn’t good either. How does this apply to introverts?
Introverts, like Jenn Granneman author of The Secret Lives of Introverts, love being alone, “Like many introverts, when I don’t get healthy solitude, I feel stressed and tired. Every little annoyance becomes magnified, and I get frustrated with people around for no good reason.”
I too feel this way when I’m inundated with too many people, too much noise, and no time to recharge.
The connection between loneliness and health problems was being highlighted even before the COVID-19 pandemic.
In 2018 Great Britain appointed a minister for loneliness. At the time, research studies argued that loneliness was “a silent killer” because it increased inflammation, heart disease, and dementia.
Also in 2018 a survey by the Angus Reid Institute in Canada found that 27% of Canadians felt somewhat lonely while 21% felt very lonely. Almost half of the population!
What is Loneliness?
The following descriptions are taken from Loneliness at Work, a British Red Cross report published in February 2023:
General loneliness: Refers to feelings of loneliness reported without reference to when or where they were experienced.
Isolation: Refers to a lack of social contacts. Isolation and loneliness are different but related and one may impact or lead to the other.
Loneliness at work: Refers to loneliness experienced specifically at or in relation to work.
Solitude is not the same as Loneliness
All of us need to find solitude in order to be healthy. Spending time in solitary pursuits is not the same as being lonely.
In 2003 a groundbreaking paper on the benefits of solitude was published in the Journal for the Theory of Social Behavior by Christopher R. Long and James R. Averill. Up until 2003 scientists had focused on the pathological aspects of solitary behavior.
Authors Long and Averill discovered that there were 4 main benefits of solitude including:
- freedom
- creativity
- intimacy
- spirituality
Sadly the focus on the negative aspects of solitude has been slow to change. Many introverts are made to feel that there is something wrong with them for spending time on their own.
Leadership expert, Ray Williams writes,
“We’ve been wired to believe that solitude is our enemy. We’ve also confused ‘being alone’ with ‘being lonely’. They are not necessarily the same thing. Being alone doesn’t necessarily cause loneliness and many people can feel lonely despite being in the constant presence of other people. The truth is, solitude is necessary for our well-being and potential success.”
Today, many of us are addicted to busyness. Our 24/7 society makes it possible to avoid being on our own. In fact, we are rewarded for being good team players and for being constantly connected with other people and with our devices.
Extroverts find it a challenge to spend time alone because they benefit from socializing with others. But even extroverts can feel overwhelmed with the busyness of life and need time away from the crowd in order to regroup.
How can you tell when you are ready for some time alone? You may feel irritable, tired, anxious, or unable to focus and think clearly. Not being able to spend time alone may even affect your relationships.
Solitude Looks Different Depending on Who You Are
According to The American Institute of Stress you can enjoy solitude in countless ways: sitting in a quiet room, going for a walk by yourself, listen to music, cooking or engaging in a hobby are just a few.
Solitude and loneliness is not the same thing. Solitude is a necessary part of a healthy lifestyle. Loneliness, on the other hand, has been linked to a range of health problems.
The first step in determining whether or not you are lonely is to determine what is causing you to feel the way you do. You may want to talk with a health provider or do a self-assessment using one of the many on-line tools.