Blurting - The Dynamic Introvert

Is Your Voice Being Heard? 5 Tips for Quiet Introverted Leaders

By Lesley TaylorPosted on June 20, 2018Posted in IntrovertsTagged Blurting, Communication Skills, Interrupting, Introverts, Karen Friedman, leadership development, Madeleine Albright, Toastmasters

Introverts are often described as being quiet and shy so it should come as no surprise to readers of my blog that introverts also struggle to express themselves in meetings and other large group settings. To make things worse many of us are also prone to ungraciously blurting out what we want to say. I believe that introverts are more likely to interrupt the flow of a conversation by blurting out their thoughts than extroverts are. And we do this because after we have spent some time thinking quietly about what is being said we want to share our ideas and because we haven’t learned how to interrupt gracefully (see below) we just blurt out what we want to say. So what’s an introvert to do especially one who wants to share her ideas and/or develop as a leader and get recognized for her contribution? One approach that may sound counter intuitive is learn to interrupt! That’s right! But many of us grew up believing that interrupting other people is rude. In the March, 2018 issue of Toastmasters magazine author Karen Friedman has some tips for those of us who would like to develop our interruption skills, starting with a quote from Madeleine Albright: “If you are going to interrupt, you have to know what you’re talking about. And you have to do it in a strong voice.” Fortunately Friedman’s article has some suggestions for how to do this. Here are 5 notable ways to interrupt politely: Start by saying, “please excuse me” before you interrupt Highlight what the last person said and then say “What do you think if we also do this or that?” Look for opportunities to ask a question or to clarify what someone else has said Put up your hand to signal that you have something to say Be prepared No. 5 is especially true at work. If you are going to a meeting or work related group try and find out as much as you can about what the main topic is going to be. This will allow you to think about what you want to say and strategize when you could interrupt most effectively. Good meeting facilitators will provide you with an agenda beforehand and if they don’t it is up to you to ask for one. Of course it’s not always possible to “be prepared” for everything that might come up during your meetings and that is why Toastmasters is such an amazing resource for introverts. Every TM meeting involves opportunities for members to answer questions and speak extemporaneously. In other words we get to practice speaking without any advance preparation. This part of the TM program is called Table Topics. The person in charge of Table Topics will introduce a theme and ask questions related to that theme. This is probably one of the most challenging aspects of learning how to speak in public. Fortunately it does become easier and it’s usually a lot of fun.

Are You A Type A Introvert?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on July 14, 2014Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged Blurting, Communication, Dynamic Introverts, Extroverts, Introverts, Leadership, Personality Types, Type A Personality, Type B Personality

Are you a Type A Introvert? Successful leaders are often thought to have Type A personalities. People with Type A personalities are described as being competitive and work obsessed…these people tend to be impatient and talk quickly…which sounds a bit like extroverted behavior. Type B personalities on the other hand are more relaxed, flexible, and laid back Of course, being a Type A personality is not the sole purview of extroverts. In fact, introverts can be just as competitive and work obsessed. We have no problem putting in long hours especially when we are working on something that we are passionate about. Just because we are introverts doesn’t mean we don’t want to get the highest grade in the class or be recognized for being top salesperson of the month. And because we are introverts we have one major advantage over extroverts: we can keep quiet about our how our work is progressing so as not to show our hand. Unlike extroverts who become energized by talking; we have no need to talk about the work we are doing, while we are doing it. However, we are similar to extroverts in that we can easily become impatient when we feel pressured to get something done. This impatience can manifest itself in the form of blurting. We will sit quietly watching the conversation go back and forth, thinking about what we want to say, and then if we are not given the chance to participate we BLURT out what we thinking. Over the years I’ve found myself blurting out my thoughts and ideas while conversing with others. When I finally became aware of what I was doing I tried to stop myself from doing this not realizing that this was due in part to my introversion. Recently I mentioned this to a friend. After giving my concern some consideration she agreed with me that as an introvert she too was “guilty” of blurting. Which leads me to my next question? What exactly is blurting? Just for fun I decided to check in with Google. According to the dictionary blurting means saying something suddenly and without careful consideration. Whoever wrote this definition does not know much about introverts. Introverts tend to blurt, but we do it after carefully considering what we want to say. In fact, we may have been thinking about what we want to say for some time and become frustrated by not having the opportunity to participate in the conversation. Am I a Type A introvert? You be the judge. For most of my adult life I worked full time at a demanding job, juggled my family, friends, and personal life (what personal life?) and attended graduate school…not once but twice. In those days I had a very short fuse and quickly became impatient when I was short on time, which was most days. These days I tend to be more laid back and relaxed, partly because I became aware of my Type A behavior and have worked hard to change it and partly because my life is not so hectic. Here is some additional information about Introversion that you may find interesting: Introversion: Signs, Types, & Misconceptions Anxiety Disorders: Types, Treatments, Symptoms & More