Is Your Voice Being Heard? 5 Tips for Quiet Introverted Leaders

Introverts are often described as being quiet and shy so it should come as no surprise to readers of my blog that introverts also struggle to express themselves in meetings and other large group settings. To make things worse many of us are also prone to ungraciously blurting out what we want to say. I believe that introverts are more likely to interrupt the flow of a conversation by blurting out their thoughts than extroverts are. And we do this because after we have spent some time thinking quietly about what is being said we want to share our ideas and  because we haven’t learned how to interrupt gracefully (see below) we just blurt out what we want to say. So what’s an introvert to do especially one who wants to share her ideas and/or develop as a leader and get recognized for her contribution? One approach that may sound counter intuitive is learn to interrupt! That’s right! But many of us grew up believing that interrupting other people is rude. In the March, 2018 issue of Toastmasters magazine author Karen Friedman has some tips for those of us who would like to develop our interruption skills, starting with a quote from Madeleine Albright: “If you are going to interrupt, you have to know what you’re talking about. And you have to do it in a strong voice.” Fortunately Friedman’s article has some suggestions for how to do this. Here are 5 notable ways to interrupt politely: Start by saying, “please excuse me” before you interrupt Highlight what the last person said and then say “What do you think if we also do this or that?” Look for opportunities to ask a question or to clarify what someone else has said Put up your hand to signal that you have something to say Be prepared No. 5 is especially true at work. If you are going to a meeting or work related group try and find out as much as you can about what the main topic is going to be. This will allow you to think about what you want to say and strategize  when you could interrupt most effectively. Good meeting facilitators will provide you with an agenda beforehand and if they don’t it is up to you to ask for one. Of course it’s not always possible to “be prepared” for everything that might come up during your meetings and that is why Toastmasters is such an amazing resource for introverts. Every TM meeting involves opportunities for members to answer questions and speak extemporaneously. In other words we get to practice speaking without any advance preparation. This part of the TM program is called Table Topics. The person in charge of Table Topics will introduce a theme and ask questions related to that theme. This is probably one of the most challenging aspects of learning how to speak in public. Fortunately it does become easier and it’s usually a lot of fun.  

Dynamic Introverts Lead With A Smile

Dynamic Introverts Lead With A Smile! Have you remembered to smile today? For the more social of us smiling comes naturally but for many introverts we really do have to make an effort to smile and look happy. According to Linda Allen, member of the Enid Speakers Toastmasters Club in Oklahoma, happy, positive leaders motivate others. The challenge for introverts is that even when we are happy and feeling positive we may forget to smile. Through my Toastmaster’s training I have been encouraged to smile more often especially when speaking to groups. It’s not a huge leap for me but I do have to remind myself from time-to-time. Smiles are universal and even when we don’t speak the same language a smile goes a long way toward breaking the ice. I love walking on the trails near my home and find that when I smile at people from other cultures they inevitably smile back…and we have an instant connection. Often when I’m not smiling it is because I am thinking about something or I am distracted but I may come across as being unhappy, uninterested, bored, negative, withdrawn, or unapproachable. I am usually a happy and positive person but if I don’t smile how will people know? Here are some ideas to help you lead with a smile: • Become self-aware. Remember that great leaders are aware of their behavior and how they impact others. • Learn to recognize your behavior when you are with other people. Are you smiling? • Be authentic. If you are having a bad day or your team or organization is experiencing some challenges perhaps smiling will send the wrong message. • Practice smiling. Yes, practice. This is what we learn to do in Toastmasters. We practice until it become second nature…maybe not second nature but at least it comes more naturally. Most of our communication with other people is nonverbal. As dynamic introverts, being aware of how we come across to others is vital to our success as leaders.

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