The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Introverts Unite: Recognize and Celebrate Your Quiet Strengths

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

We all have them–strengths I mean. Unfortunately, introverts, especially those of us working in extroverted work environments may not value our strengths. In fact, we may focus more on our weaknesses, comparing ourselves to our more outgoing and energetic co-workers. It’s no wonder we act this way as we are encouraged from an early age to be more extroverted. This is what author Susan Cain describes as “the extrovert ideal”. She writes, “We live with a value system that I call The Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.” Fortunately, in our fast-paced, hyper-active and unfocused world, there is a growing recognition that the strengths that introverts bring to the workplace are vital for the success of both individuals and the organizations that they work in. And as we learn to value our introverted strengths we can be role models for others. But first we may need to identify, develop, value and accept our quiet strengths. Each of us will have our own strengths but I’d like to share a few that I think are worth celebrating: Listening and engaging others which are important leadership skills Staying cool and calm under pressure Thinking first and talking later which usually leads to better decision-making Networking because we tend to listen and develop close relationships with people Sales because we listen and are able to develop relationships with a diverse group of people Conflict resolution…again because we are able to listen and allow space for others to solve their own problems So, how do we go about identifying our strengths? There are many different ways to do this depending on how much time and money we have. The cheapest may be just to ask yourself some questions and reflect on your answers: What energizes you? How can I do more of this? What do you value about who you are and what you do for others? What have you accomplished so far in life and how have you been able to this? And there are some brilliant on-line resources and tools such as the ones available from the Authentic Happiness website at the University of Pennsylvania which offers a free “short strengths survey”. Another way to identify your unique strengths is to ask other people so be prepared to listen to the positive things that people have to say about who you are and what you do best. Cheers!  

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Take a Break: Your Life May Depend on It!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

  Take A Break – Your Life May Depend on It  The government in Japan recently announced that it is considering a new law requiring workers to take a minimum number of vacations days each year. Why? Japanese workers are renowned for karoshi or “working themselves to death”. In the rest of the world we may not be “working ourselves to death” but our inability to stop and take a break from work is having a negative impact in other ways. A short article in the February, 2015 issue of Psychology Today magazine begins with “Workers who take the most breaks get the most accomplished” and goes on to describe a study from the University of Illinois that specifically looked at the link between taking breaks and worker’s ability to focus.  Not surprisingly, those who stopped to take a short break about once every hour were more productive. Which begs the question: Why is it so difficult for most of us to stop and take our breaks? In a 2014 study, Staples, the giant office supply chain,  discovered that more than a quarter of us don’t take regular breaks because we feel guilty. Recently I emailed a colleague who works in health care. I wanted her to join me for lunch as we hadn’t been in touch for a long time. I know that she puts in long hours each day but she declined my offer saying that her place of work was now “a “human tsunami” resulting in even more demands on her limited time and making it impossible for her to meet me for lunch. In The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose, I encourage introverts to become aware of their need to take breaks in order to manage their energy requirements. Although introverts and extroverts have different approaches to recharging their batteries and we all need to stop work and take our breaks, introverts in particular need to stop working and detach themselves mentally in order to restore their energy.  Introverts also need to communicate why it is important for them to take a break and how this benefits the organization. For instance, instead of leaving your desk or workspace quietly, without saying anything, you might want to tell your colleagues why you are taking a break. “I’ve had back-to-back meetings all morning and I need to go for a walk.” Some of you can’t stop working except during your scheduled breaks. You have earned this respite so make sure you use that time to do what is important for you. Remember,  by taking your regular breaks you will be more productive and less stressed. This may be difficult at first and you may feel guilty but you will also make it easier for others to stop and take their breaks. So, take a break, your life may depend on it!  

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What Are You Tolerating?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , ,

What Are You Tolerating?  As a coach, “what are you tolerating in your life?” is a question that I often ask my clients. The purpose of the question is to help clients understand what might be getting in the way of their moving forward. Today I’d like to explore the question as it applies to our personal energy. It is difficult to feel energized about anything when one is mired in the detritus of the past. Another way of looking at this is to visualize a large, invisible sack, that you may be carrying around with you. Over the years, you may have found that this sack has become heavier and heavier as you continually add “stuff” to it. The amount and type of “stuff” that can be added is unlimited but people have told me that they feel weighted down by the following:  Unresolved issues Old habits that no longer serve them Negative emotions about people or events Focusing on past failures These are things that we tolerate because we can’t or won’t let them go. Of course we all tolerate things that we shouldn’t: jobs that are boring or that don’t challenge us anymore, relationships that are toxic, behaviors (our own and others) that no longer serve us. Avoiding or tolerating is a huge drain on our energy and something that introverts need to pay particular attention to. According to Marti Olsen Laney in her book The Introvert Advantage, “Genetic research has shown that it takes introverts longer than extroverts to reconstitute themselves when they are depleted.” I thought about this recently after a friend mentioned her struggle to recover her energy. Understanding and managing our energy requirements is especially important for introverts, but this is no simple matter as our energy can be affected by numerous things:  The weather Our fitness level Our diet Our sleep or lack of The quality of our relationships Our mental and physical health Other people’s expectations of us So, determining which, if any, of the above is affecting us is the first step in getting a handle on understanding our energy needs and how we might go about raising our energy levels. Because there are so many variables affecting our personal energy this may take some time but will be well worth it in the end. From an early age many of us are taught to accept life as it is. We learn to “get by” or to “tolerate” what is happening in our lives. But we don’t have to do this! We can identify the things that we tolerate and in doing so we can eliminate them from our lives. So, what are you tolerating?   Lesley          

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Charismatic Leadership Can Be Learned

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Charisma is a desirable quality in a leader and one that has traditionally been associated with extroversion. But, as I learned while researching The Dynamic Introvert, introverts have a dynamism or charisma of their own: Here’s what Dr. Judy Curson, introvert, and leader in the National Health Service in the UK has to say about this, “I think many of us are dynamic. We just make less fuss and noise about being dynamic than some extraverts. Our energy and enthusiasm is often hidden from the external world.” Charismatic people tend to be optimistic, enthusiastic, and energetic and interestingly we all have the potential to be charismatic—introverts and extroverts alike. Being an optimist, someone who sees the world in a positive light, is an attractive quality in a leader. According to the dictionary optimists are “hopeful and confident about the future.” We all find it easier to follow someone who fits this description. Energy is also an ingredient in charisma and keeping your energy up can take a considerable amount of work. I devote an entire chapter to understanding and managing our energy in The Dynamic Introvert. Here are some additional suggestions to help you maintain your energy through-out the day: – Make a “to do” list and do keep track of the things on the list. When you have unfinished tasks on your mind, even if you are not aware of them, you will find your energy negatively affected. -Make a list of the things that you are “tolerating” and create a plan to reduce or eliminate these. -Take a rest break during the day, especially if you have to work late into the evening. -Get up and move! Go outside and walk around the block. Walk up and down the stairs. Stand up while you are talking on the phone. Finally, it’s easy to be enthusiastic when you feel passionate about something. The good news for introverts is that charisma can be learned and no-one can be charismatic 100% of the time, not even the extroverts in the group. Consider charismatic leadership a set of skills that you become better at the more you practice.

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The Dynamic Introvert Blog

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

Hello and welcome to The Dynamic Introvert blog! Can introverts be dynamic or is a dynamic introvert an oxymoron like the words “jumbo shrimp”, two words that seemingly contradict one another. What does it mean to be dynamic? I found the following definition by Dr. Suneel Sethi interesting: “A dynamic person is liked and admired by many. A dynamic person is a person who really makes a difference in the world; who does something that changes things or people.” Norma is a dynamic introvert. She is a real people person and she is well-liked and respected. Recently I joined Norma at her gym and while we were waiting for the class to begin one of the regulars approached her and said, “You excite people around you and your energy is really good.” WOW, what a compliment!   Norma describes herself as a social introvert and she has a very active social life. She is also aware of her energy needs and makes sure she looks after herself and finds ways to recharge throughout the day. Since writing The Dynamic Introvert I have begun to notice more and more examples of how introverts are showing up in the world. Dynamic introverts come in all shapes and sizes. Some of us are outgoing while some of us are more comfortable watching from the side lines. The important thing is that we refuse to be labelled and that we are reinventing what it means to be an introvert In The Dynamic Introvert Blog we will explore what it means to be an introvert  in today’s world. I will share my thoughts and observations and also what I’m learning from readers of The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion & Purpose.  

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