The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Introversion is My Superpower!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

It’s been 10 years since I wrote The Dynamic Introvert. Last fall I was curious to see what people were saying about introverts and what I found surprised me. The first articles I read focused on introversion as a superpower. The one written by Adrian at the London University was directed toward students. The other, an article which appeared in the Telegraph, was written by Helena Morrissey. Morrissey’s article was entitled “Being an Introvert is a Workplace Superpower.” Both articles were published in the fall of 2024. Progress is Slow But despite having made a lot of progress in the last ten years there is still a lot of work to be done. We are still not seen as equal to extroverts when it comes to our leadership abilities. How do I know that? “In October, 2024 The World Economic Forum reported that “When you look at the average salaries of different personality types, one overarching theme emerges: Extroverts tend to earn more than introverts.” Personality Impacts How Much You Earn. And there have been other studies looking at how personality traits, specifically introversion and extroversion, influence lifetime earnings and career prospects. Why, despite all of the work that’s been done to advance introverts, are we still seen as being lesser than? Of course since 2014 more and more companies have recognized the value of diversifying their leadership teams. And individuals are more likely to be aware of their personality traits and how to showcase them to their advantage. “In his 2002 bestseller, Good to Great, Jim Collins popularized the idea of “getting the right people on the bus”. He was referring to an organization’s mandate to hire employees with the right combination of skills, attitude, experience and knowledge. And while Collins was not thinking about personality types specifically, his findings support the need for a quiet leader, one who listens and creates opportunities for others to contribute their ideas. Introverts Make Great Leaders Introverts are ideal candidates for this leadership model; they present a hidden advantage in winning the “war for talent”. 10 years has passed and thanks to the groundbreaking work of authors Marti Olsen Laney, Laurie Helgoe, Susan Cain and others we know that being an introvert is something to be celebrated, even envied. Over the past 10 years we have learned a lot about introverts and introversion. Some even see introversion as a superpower but there is still a lot of work to do to combat the negative perceptions of introverts.      

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What Is A Dynamic Introvert?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , ,

“What is a dynamic introvert?” “What does the title of your book mean?” I was taken by surprise by Colleen’s questions. I thought about them for a moment and then I mumbled something unintelligible. As the author of The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose and an introvert myself I should have had the answers on the tip of my tongue. Colleen’s questions were spot on and my subconcious must have been on overdrive because shortly after I returned home, it hit me. The title of my book The Dynamic Introvert is a play on words. Perhaps not in the truest sense–according to Wikipedia a play on words is a literary technique, a form of wit, in which the words that are used become the main focus of the book. I certainly didn’t intend for The Dynamic Introvert to be a comedy (and there is nothing funny about how introverts are compared with extroverts and seen as wanting) when you feel overlooked and undervalued. What I did intend though was to grab the reader’s attention; to have them think about what it means to be an introvert and how our understanding of introverts and, in particular, introverted leaders, is changing. If I have learned one thing while researching and writing The Dynamic Introvert it is that we are all very different and none of us can be pigeon-holed. Of course there are introverts who are quiet and reserved. These introverts may prefer their own company to the company of others. But most of the introverts I’ve met along the way defy how introverts are typically portrayed. One of the most brilliant descriptons of a dynamic introvert comes from Judy Curson, a physician and educator in the U.K. who wrote, “I think many of us are dynamic. We just make less fuss and noise about being dynamic than some extraverts. Our energy and enthusiasm is often hidden from the external world.” Many of us are dynamic in the way that Dr. Curson describes. We can be social and dynamic the same way extroverts can be dynamic. Words such as gregarious, outgoing, fun, interesting and energetic could be used in place of dynamic here. These are words that I would use to describe the many dynamic introverts who I know and who could easily be mistaken  for extroverts.  Unlike extroverts who recharge by being with other people; dynamic introverts need down time to recharge their batteries. The above is an excerpt from an earlier blog post.

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Introverts are Valued But Still Not Seen as Leaders

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , ,

Do Extroverts Make Better Leaders? In 2015 when I wrote The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose the ideal leader was someone with an extroverted personality.  Of course we (I’m a card carrying introvert myself) failed to measure up, especially in the workplace. At that time, and for decades before, introverts were overlooked for leadership positions in favor of their more outgoing extroverted colleagues. Introverts Are Valued Now More Than In The Past When I saw that Dr. Karl Moore, assistant professor at McGill University was giving a talk to UBC business students about introverts, extroverts and ambiverts I wanted to see what, if anything, had changed. I wanted to hear what Moore had to say. Had he discovered anything new since 2015 when I had published my book? Are Introverts Finally Getting the Recognition and Respect that they Deserve? Dr. Moore stated that “We value introverts more now than in the past.” So far so good. But then he said “You have to be extroverted or act extroverted to get into the C-Suite.” The C-Suite is code for senior leadership: Chief Executive Officers, Presidents, Directors, Vice Presidents etc. Here’s an example from a Wall Street Journal article that I quoted in my book: Nearly two-thirds of the 1, 542 senior leaders surveyed in 2006 saw introversion as an impediment to reaching higher (C-Suite) management levels. Extroverts, it would seem by virtue of their outgoing personalities were more intelligent and therefore chosen for leadership roles more often than introverts. Ok, so nothing much has changed. Or has it? Getting To The C-Suite Moore spoke to the need for introverts to change their behavior, in other words to act more extroverted. But he also stated that extroverts need to behave like their introverted colleagues. In other words listen more than they talk, share the limelight with others, and be humble! “Acting like and E or an I when you’re not is exhausting.” Moore told the audience. Of course, introverts discovered this years ago. I learned to take breaks in order to recover my depleted energy, especially after teaching a class or facilitating a meeting. After teaching a leadership class all day I would go home EXHAUSTED! This may sound strange to you but after re-reading my notes I thought to myself, “Why are we all trying to be something we are not?” “Why all the acting out of character if it is so exhausting? “ Throughout my career I struggled to be more extroverted. I found it extremely difficult to speak up in meetings which were dominated by extroverts, each speaker louder than the next. My answer was to join Toastmasters where I learned to speak confidently in front of groups. This was a good thing. Initially it was exhausting and it took me years of practice before I was comfortable speaking in a group. We all need to communicate if we are going to have healthy relationships and we all need to be able to speak up and share our ideas, especially at work. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up! Thankfully, the time spent at Toastmasters working on my communication skills paid off but don’t worry I have not become an extrovert. I developed my own unique style of communication. I still pause more than some of my more extroverted colleagues but I feel confident when speaking in front of a crowd and I like the fact that I can contribute my ideas in breakout rooms during ZOOM meetings. If you are an introvert you may disagree with my suggestion that you learn to speak up and speak out. I  I agree that we should be accepted for who we are without having to become extroverts in order to fit into society’s expectations of the ideal leader. But now extroverts are also being told that they need to change their personalities to act more introverted. Moore found in his research that introverts are valued more now than in the past but is it enough?  

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Want a Stronger Voice? Use Dialogue!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

  Through-out most of my career I struggled to speak up and find my voice at work. Not only was this frustrating but it also meant that I had to work harder to get my ideas across. Joining Toastmasters has helped but there might have been some things that I could have done differently. There are techniques that encourage everyone’s voice to be heard. One technique that has been used successfully in many organizations is dialogue. When I first read about using dialogue back in the 1990’s the idea really resonated with me.  In hindsight I think this was because, as an introvert, I struggled to get my voice heard above the cacophony of noise in most of the meetings that I attended. Introverts often struggle to be heard in meetings. Given our personality differences it should come as no surprise that introverts and extroverts communicate differently. Extroverts tend to talk more often, more quickly and more confidently while introverts listen more than they speak and may appear tentative and less confident. Dialogue is an often overlooked facilitation tool that enhances learning and makes it possible for everyone to share their ideas and experiences. Dialogue is easy to learn but it takes a bit of practice to be able to use it effectively. What is dialogue? According to the Cambridge online dictionary dialogue is a “conversation that is written for a book, play, or film”. I’m using a somewhat different definition of dialogue in today’s blog post. Dialogue in this sense is a type of group communication that encourages participants to slow down, be in the moment and really listen to what everyone is saying. It is often used in situations where there is conflict or as William Isaacs, author of Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together, describes it, “dialogue is more than just the exchange of words, but rather the embrace of different points of view—literally the art of thinking together”. Here is a list of ground rules that are typically used in a dialogue session: Listen and speak without judgement Acknowledge each speaker Respect differences Suspend your role and status Avoid cross-talk Focus on learning Check your assumptions Want to change your meetings so you can “get a word in edgewise”? Introduce the use of dialogue and offer to organize the first session. If your company or group already uses dialogue on a regular basis congratulations. I would love to hear about your experience. Here are two books that I’ve found useful: 1. On Dialogue by David Bohm published in 1996 and 2. Perspectives on Dialogue: Making Talk Developmental for Individuals and Organizations by Nancy M. Dixon also published in 1996. And if you are an introvert you probably have an advantage when it comes to using dialogue because you are wired to slow down and listen before you speak. What do you think? [contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]    

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Are Introverts Less Confident Than Extroverts?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Are Introverts Less Confident Than Extroverts?  When does perception become reality and what has this got to do with introverts and extroverts? I believe that the general perception of introverts is that they aren’t as confident as extroverts and this unfortunately gets in the way of their success in life. Introverts are often slow to respond when asked a question. It takes them a while to speak up in classrooms or team meetings and they often seem uncomfortable at parties. Because of this perceived lack of confidence introverts may miss out on important job opportunities. And when compared to extroverts, introverts often appear less self-assured causing human resources leaders to ask themselves, “Why are they hesitating?” or “Do they really know what they are talking about?” Being confident can open doors and make life more interesting and fun. But what is confidence? Google defines it as “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something” Or, “a feeling of self-assurance arising from one’s appreciation of one’s own abilities or qualities”. We know it when we see it, or at least we think we do. Some quiet introverts may be very confident but are comfortable spending time thinking before they answer questions. And some extroverts may use their extroversion as a way of hiding the fact that they are less confident. Nothing is what it appears! And of course all personality types can lack confidence. It’s just sometimes I think that when it comes to introverts our behavior is seen in a negative light. Over the years I have also wondered whether or not my lack of confidence was due to the fact that I spent too much time thinking about things and not enough time taking action. Taking action leads to increased self-assurance. Too much time thinking (worrying?) has the opposite effect and doesn’t go unnoticed. “I’m an extrovert and those I live with are introverts. I’ve come to learn that they have a different sort of confidence to my own, one that comes from inner strength that can be developed no matter how difficult it may seem at first.” Rebecca Perkins How can we become more confident? There are no easy answers but the following suggestions from Rebecca Perkins and Brian Roet are a good place to start: Develop your self-awareness. This is perhaps the most important and the most challenging. But fulfilling our potential and being successful really does start with a solid foundation. Knowing who you are, your strengths and what you want to achieve in life are some of the areas to explore and develop. There are endless ways of doing this and a number are covered in my book The Dynamic Introvert: Leading quietly with passion and purpose. Quit judging yourself: This is a difficult one. Is there anyone out there who doesn’t judge themselves? On the positive side judging oneself can lead to self-awareness but not if we only see the things we don’t do well or compare ourselves with others and end up feeling inadequate. If we were lucky to grow up in a family that accepted us and encouraged us even when we made mistakes, we are more likely to feel good about ourselves and less likely to judge ourselves harshly. Use your strengths: We all have different strengths. The trick is discovering the ones that are uniquely yours and then building on them. This relates to the first item on this list, “Develop your self-awareness”. Some people are fortunate to know what their strengths are early on in life for others this knowledge comes later. Sometimes we are steered in the wrong direction by well-meaning parents or teachers and end up working in jobs that aren’t the right “fit”. I once met a woman whose husband kept pushing their introverted son to join team sports, against the son’s wishes. She was concerned about her son’s wellbeing and was looking for information to give to her husband to help him understand their son’s introverted nature. Challenge yourself: Our confidence increases the more positive experiences we experience. If you are quiet and don’t feel confident in groups you may need to learn how to speak up in order to be heard. But be gentle with yourself. Rome wasn’t built in a day. You are in this for the long term and your confidence will increase with each successful experience. I’ll leave you with this quote from Dr. Brian Roet, “Confidence helps you achieve your potential; achieving your potential helps your confidence.” – From The Confidence to Be Yourself.      

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Can You Change Your Personality?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , ,

Can You Change Your Personality? Have you ever wanted to change your personality? Is it even possible to change who you are? New research indicates that our personalities do in fact, change over time. When I was younger, much younger, I was quiet and I lacked confidence. Once I got to college I realized that I wanted to be more confident and more like the students who were outgoing and who could speak up in class and get their ideas across. Those more extroverted students also seemed to be having more fun. As soon as I graduated and began working I made the conscious decision to change my personality although at the time I didn’t realize that this is what I had set out to do. I hadn’t heard of Myers Briggs and had no idea that I was an introvert not that this would have made much of a difference since in those days it was believed that personality was fixed and there was nothing we could do to change it. Now we know differently. Recently I picked up the January issue of Psychologies magazine. An article about personality by author and psychologist Meg Arroll caught my eye. In the article Arroll commented on a study recently published by scientists at the University of Edinburgh. The study, which is the longest ever to look at how our personalities change over time, started in 1947 when the participants were 14 years of age. In 2012, 63 years after the study began, U of E researchers contacted the original participants to do a follow-up and although only a small number of the original group agreed to be retested the findings suggest that we do become different people as we age. This is good news in that our personalities are not set in stone and can change over time. We may be predisposed to certain personality traits but we can make adjustments if these traits don’t work for us. Here’s an example. My friend Jim is extroverted. He talks a lot and dominates most conversations. Not only does he dominate he doesn’t appear to have any insight into how his behavior is impacting other people. This aspect of extroversion may or may not impede his career success but if it does he may want to consider changing his behavior so that he is more introverted at least some of the time. Being a good listener is considered more of an introverted trait and something that Jim might want to focus on doing more of. It will no doubt be difficult but it in the end it will improve his relationships and probably improve his job prospects as well. The not so good news is that changing our personalities takes time and concerted effort. When I decided that I wanted to become more confident in groups it took me a long, long time and 30 years later I still prefer to sit and listen to what others have to say. One way that I learned to boost my confidence was to actually teach classes or facilitate meetings. This allowed me to prepare and feel more in control of what was happening. Oh, and joining Toastmasters made a big difference. Toastmasters helped me to think on my feet something that many of us find challenging to do. Do you think we can change our personalities? What is your experience? Over the years I’ve read comments by introverts who resent feeling pressured to become more extroverted. But whether we are introverted or extroverted there may be times when we may want to change some aspect of who we are and now we know we can.

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