The Mysterious Introvert

The Mysterious Introvert   Do you know any introverts? We are the quiet ones. We prefer our own company. And we certainly don’t like public speaking? Or do we? Introverts are full of contradictions. We often confuse people and sometimes we even confuse ourselves. What is an introvert you ask? When I started writing my book The Dynamic Introvert I discovered how little I understood introversion and how little I knew myself. My Awakening!  Let me give you an example, a few years ago I worked on a management team for a large non-profit organization. One Monday morning Susan, the head of the physiotherapy department, stopped and asked me how my weekend had been. I paused to consider her question and then instead of responding to her immediately I had a conversation with myself, in my HEAD: I thought, “should I tell her about the hike I went on yesterday? or should I tell her about the dinner party I organized on Saturday? Or? All of a sudden I noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she was walking away. The fact that she walked away struck me as odd but it wasn’t until I started doing research for my book that the light bulbs started going off!!! It’s no wonder people are confused. For decades it was believed that introverts were in the minority, at least in North America, and compared to extroverts, we were described as: withdrawn, boring, unsociable, shy, not high in confidence, and self-centred. Who was deliberately spreading this inaccurate information? Was there a conspiracy? Ever since psychiatrist Carl Jung introduced the personality traits of introversion and extroversion to the world, about 100 years ago, we’ve been told that extroverts comprise a whopping two-thirds of the population. So in order to be successful introverts have tried really hard to act like extroverts; it seemed as if extroverts got all the breaks: the best jobs, the promotions and other opportunities. But in reality there are as many introverts as extroverts. Self-Preservation 101: (the introverted brain) Another thing you should know is that introverts are easily aroused. All joking aside it doesn’t take much for us to become overstimulated. Our brains are wired differently from extrovert’s brains. We have more blood flow and electrical activity in the “neo cortex”. When this happens our brains may “shut down” and stop functioning. A few years ago I was at a Toastmasters Evaluation workshop. In the morning we listened to some great speakers and in the afternoon we broke into small groups. In my small group I was told that I would be summarizing our discussion and reporting back to the plenary session. That’s when my difficulties began. I didn’t know it at the time but my brain was highly aroused by all the activity and noise in the room and I quickly became overwhelmed. We were in a LARGE, NOISY room and it seemed as if everyone was talking at once. I tried to write down the comments that people were making so that I could summarize them but the more I tried to focus the more my brain BUZZED until eventually it shut down. At least that’s what it felt like! Later on when I was asked to report on our group’s discussion, my mind went blank, and I stumbled over my report. I was mortified. Looking back I now realize that I should have excused myself from the working group and found a quiet spot to THINK and process all of the information that I had taken in. The Mysterious Introvert To some people we are mysterious but to others we are downright annoying. It’s fairly easy to know who the extroverts are. They are the life of the party…the person with the lampshade on his or her head surrounded by a circle of laughing friends. In contrast, the introverts are lined up along the wall looking like they would rather be anywhere else. Or is it the opposite? In reality an introvert is not always easy to spot. We may, in fact, be the life of the party. Pass the lampshade please! Where we really get into trouble is in the workplace. We drive the extroverts crazy because in meetings we don’t say very much and they have to try to guess what we are thinking. The extroverts feel that we are unprepared or simply don’t have any opinions, so they dominate more; and the introverts stop trying. And they may even disappear…in plain sight. But it’s not completely our fault. Blame it on our brains. When we take in a lot of new information we need to think about it before we discuss it. Extroverts have the advantage here because they process information by talking about it. One solution is to raise our hands and wait to be recognized, which doesn’t always work. Another is to join Toastmasters and find our voices! Introverts of the world unite indeed!!! This post was adapted from a speech that I gave recently at my Toastmasters Club.  

10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose

10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose  According to personality psychologist and author Dr. Brian Little “It’s cool to be an introvert these days”.  And, as I’ve been discovering, the topic of introverts is “priming the pump” for a lot of interesting conversations. In fact, I had one of these conversations this past weekend with Corinne* a colleague who is enrolled in a leadership degree program at a university in British Columbia.  As we talked Corinne informed me that the first time she thought much about her personality was in the residency portion of her leadership program. It seems that one of the most transformative experiences was when her cohort completed the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and then debriefed it with their instructor.  Corinne is an extrovert and had never spent much time thinking about the challenges faced by introverts until she observed how they struggled with exhaustion during the 12 hour days that are typical of the two-week residency period. She confessed that “she had just assumed that everyone was like me, that we all process our thoughts in the same way”. She also recognized that her introverted colleagues were struggling to find a way to contribute to conversations in the group.  But Corinne did something that I think is totally brilliant; she changed her behavior to accommodate the introverts in the group. Recognizing that she needed to talk out loud in order to express her ideas she took to writing her ideas down thereby providing some much needed “air time” for the introverts in the group.  What Corinne observed is not unusual. Introverts often find that they are invisible at work or that they are overlooked for promotions or leadership opportunities. Unfortunately not everyone is as aware as Corinne. It may be cool to be an introvert but in most organizations there is still a need for awareness and education about the challenges that introverts face and the strengths that they bring to the workplace.  The Dynamic Introvert is a unique leadership book that… 1. focuses on the strengths of introverts as leaders 2. provides evidence as to why introverts are effective leaders 3. encourages readers to create a Personal Leadership Development Plan or PLDP 4. offers a unique blend of research and practical ideas 5. provides information about how introverts can manage their energy 6. gives the reader self-coaching questions for each section of the book 7. debunks the myth that extroverts make better leaders than introverts 8. offers practical tips for self-promotion 9. challenges readers to think about introverts in a different way 10. advances the introvert conversation  The Dynamic Introvert is available at the following locations:  Village Books in Richmond, B.C. Odin Books in Vancouver Black Bond Book, various locations AND online!  *Corrine’s name was changed to protect her privacy.  

Are You A Type A Introvert?

Are you a Type A Introvert? Successful leaders are often thought to have Type A personalities. People with Type A personalities are described as being competitive and work obsessed…these people tend to be impatient and talk quickly…which sounds a bit like extroverted behavior. Type B personalities on the other hand are more relaxed, flexible, and laid back Of course, being a Type A personality is not the sole purview of extroverts. In fact, introverts can be just as competitive and work obsessed. We have no problem putting in long hours especially when we are working on something that we are passionate about. Just because we are introverts doesn’t mean we don’t want to get the highest grade in the class or be recognized for being top salesperson of the month. And because we are introverts we have one major advantage over extroverts: we can keep quiet about our how our work is progressing so as not to show our hand. Unlike extroverts who become energized by talking; we have no need to talk about the work we are doing, while we are doing it. However, we are similar to extroverts in that we can easily become impatient when we feel pressured to get something done. This impatience can manifest itself in the form of blurting. We will sit quietly watching the conversation go back and forth, thinking about what we want to say, and then if we are not given the chance to participate we BLURT out what we thinking. Over the years I’ve found myself blurting out my thoughts and ideas while conversing with others. When I finally became aware of what I was doing I tried to stop myself from doing this not realizing that this was due in part to my introversion. Recently I mentioned this to a friend. After giving my concern some consideration she agreed with me that as an introvert she too was “guilty” of blurting. Which leads me to my next question? What exactly is blurting? Just for fun I decided to check in with Google. According to the dictionary blurting means saying something suddenly and without careful consideration. Whoever wrote this definition does not know much about introverts. Introverts tend to blurt, but we do it after carefully considering what we want to say. In fact, we may have been thinking about what we want to say for some time and become frustrated by not having the opportunity to participate in the conversation. Am I a Type A introvert? You be the judge. For most of my adult life I worked full time at a demanding job, juggled my family, friends, and personal life (what personal life?) and attended graduate school…not once but twice. In those days I had a very short fuse and quickly became impatient when I was short on time, which was most days. These days I tend to be more laid back and relaxed, partly because I became aware of my Type A behavior and have worked hard to change it and partly because my life is not so hectic. Here is some additional information about Introversion that you may find interesting: Introversion: Signs, Types, & Misconceptions Anxiety Disorders: Types, Treatments, Symptoms & More

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