Introverts - The Dynamic Introvert

Introverts Are You Dreading Going Back to Work?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on July 19, 2021Posted in IntrovertsTagged Fontini Iconomopoulos, Introverts, Myers Briggs, Negotiating, Toastmasters

Are You Ready to Go Back to Work? In a recent Washington Post article John Hackston, head of thought leadership at the Myers-Briggs Company stated, “Introverts are dreading return to work”. Of course many of us will be happy to reconnect with colleagues and friends who we haven’t seen for over a year. Despite this we still may have some anxiety around returning to the workplace we left more than a year ago. The pandemic has changed many things including our places of work. This is not a bad thing as now, more than any other time in history, employers are willing to consider accommodating the needs of workers. Take Control of Your Destiny! In my previous blog post I wrote, “Taking charge will mean deciding what works for you and then being ready and willing to negotiate with your employer.” If you are alarmed at the thought of negotiating a return to work on your terms, don’t be. Negotiation expert and author of Say Less, Get More: Unconvential Negotiation Techniques, Fontini Iconomopoulos, argues that the key to effective negotiation is the ability to listen, really listen, to what the other person has to say. And listening is something that introverts do well! Listening helps us see things from the other person’s perspective helping us to understand where they are coming from. This is the key to successful negotiations. Negotiating Tips from an Expert Listening to our boss is the first step. In addition we will want to consider the following tips provided by Iconomopoulos during a CBC radio interview this week: Clarify your personal values Demonstrate the benefits of what you are proposing (make it difficult for your boss to say no) Prepare for the discussion by practicing in front of a mirror or with a friend Create and anchor and have your anchor ready Iconomopoulos uses the anchor as a metaphor. When you are in a boat and you don’t want to drift you can drop your anchor to secure your position in the water. In the same way your anchor will help you focus on your bottom line during negotiations. Your anchor will most certainly include your values or what’s important to you. Knowing your values will help you set personal boundaries so you can say no to requests that create a conflict. Requests such as returning to work as it was prior to the start of the COVID-19 pandemic. Introverts Make Great Negotiators How do introverts measure up as negotiators? According to author Karen Burns, in a Seattle Times article, introverts make some of the best negotiators because… We listen We are comfortable with silence We do our research and are prepared To successfully negotiate you will also need to “find your voice” and speak up. The best advice I can give you is to join Toastmasters The aim of this non-profit educational organization is to help members to learn how to communicate. 350,000 + people in 143 countries around the world can’t be wrong. The program works! Just remember, negotiation is not about getting everything you want. It’s about finding a mutually beneficial solution for both parties. a solution that you can both live with!

Introverts – Are You Ready to Return to Work?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on July 7, 2021Posted in IntrovertsTagged BBC, CIPD, Freedom Day, Graduated Return to Work, Introverts

We have been waiting for well over a year to get back to “normal”. For many of us this means returning to work. Depending on where you live and the type of work you do this may be causing some anxiety. In Canada a KPMG poll revealed that 54% of Canadians feel anxious about returning to work. Of course, if you were fortunate enough to have a job that was deemed essential or a company that let you work from home you would have continued working all along. Jill is the COO of an engineering firm. She worked from home while restrictions were in place but moved back to her office as soon as it was feasible. My nephew Bill is an electrician and his brother Steve is a plumber so they continued to work on construction projects throughout the entire pandemic. People employed in retail and the hospitality industries had fewer options during the lockdown. But introverts who stopped working or worked from home may be feeling anxious about returning to work. The best remedy is to take charge and create an action plan based on your needs. Have a Re-entry Plan Taking charge will mean deciding what works for you and then being ready and willing to negotiate with your employer. Canada Life recently posted: “Studies have shown fear of the unknown can significantly compound anxiety. Being worried about the uncertain, known as anticipatory anxiety, can leave you feeling overwhelmed and powerless.” To remove some of this uncertainty, speak to your boss about what a return to work will look like. Canada Life recommends that you find answers to the following questions: Will all employees be returning or will we be taking a phased approach? How many employees will be returning at once? Have any physical changes been made to the working environment? How will measures such as face covering and social distancing be enforced? Are any other workplace safety measures in place? Will you be providing any PPE equipment, such as masks? Do Your Homework All over the world we are seeing examples of how employers are taking the needs of their employees into consideration. Your place of work should have a formal return to work plan based on government health guidelines. Do a “dry run”. Go back to your place of work and look around. Talk to people who are already working. Ask them what their experience has been like. If you are looking for ideas to take to your boss do some research on-line. Many organizations are encouraging employees to continue working from home at least in the short term. And there are numerous examples of how companies are adapting in order to get their employees safely back to work. The Bank of England is asking staff to return to the office in September starting with a minimum of once a week. A form of graduated return to work. You may be able to arrange a graduated return to work or negotiate fewer hours for the first few weeks And Now for the Good News! Peter Cheese, chief executive of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD) said recently in a BBC interview: “Freedom Day‘ shouldn’t signal a mass return to workplaces, but it could signal the start of greater freedom and flexibility in how, when and where people work.”

Introverts are Valued But Still Not Seen as Leaders

By Lesley TaylorPosted on July 2, 2021Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged C-Suite, Dr. Karl Moore, Extroverts, Introverts, Leadership, Toastmasters International

Do Extroverts Make Better Leaders? In 2015 when I wrote The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose the ideal leader was someone with an extroverted personality. Of course we (I’m a card carrying introvert myself) failed to measure up, especially in the workplace. At that time, and for decades before, introverts were overlooked for leadership positions in favor of their more outgoing extroverted colleagues. Introverts Are Valued Now More Than In The Past When I saw that Dr. Karl Moore, assistant professor at McGill University was giving a talk to UBC business students about introverts, extroverts and ambiverts I wanted to see what, if anything, had changed. I wanted to hear what Moore had to say. Had he discovered anything new since 2015 when I had published my book? Are Introverts Finally Getting the Recognition and Respect that they Deserve? Dr. Moore stated that “We value introverts more now than in the past.” So far so good. But then he said “You have to be extroverted or act extroverted to get into the C-Suite.” The C-Suite is code for senior leadership: Chief Executive Officers, Presidents, Directors, Vice Presidents etc. Here’s an example from a Wall Street Journal article that I quoted in my book: Nearly two-thirds of the 1, 542 senior leaders surveyed in 2006 saw introversion as an impediment to reaching higher (C-Suite) management levels. Extroverts, it would seem by virtue of their outgoing personalities were more intelligent and therefore chosen for leadership roles more often than introverts. Ok, so nothing much has changed. Or has it? Getting To The C-Suite Moore spoke to the need for introverts to change their behavior, in other words to act more extroverted. But he also stated that extroverts need to behave like their introverted colleagues. In other words listen more than they talk, share the limelight with others, and be humble! “Acting like and E or an I when you’re not is exhausting.” Moore told the audience. Of course, introverts discovered this years ago. I learned to take breaks in order to recover my depleted energy, especially after teaching a class or facilitating a meeting. After teaching a leadership class all day I would go home EXHAUSTED! This may sound strange to you but after re-reading my notes I thought to myself, “Why are we all trying to be something we are not?” “Why all the acting out of character if it is so exhausting? “ Throughout my career I struggled to be more extroverted. I found it extremely difficult to speak up in meetings which were dominated by extroverts, each speaker louder than the next. My answer was to join Toastmasters where I learned to speak confidently in front of groups. This was a good thing. Initially it was exhausting and it took me years of practice before I was comfortable speaking in a group. We all need to communicate if we are going to have healthy relationships and we all need to be able to speak up and share our ideas, especially at work. Don’t Be Afraid to Speak Up! Thankfully, the time spent at Toastmasters working on my communication skills paid off but don’t worry I have not become an extrovert. I developed my own unique style of communication. I still pause more than some of my more extroverted colleagues but I feel confident when speaking in front of a crowd and I like the fact that I can contribute my ideas in breakout rooms during ZOOM meetings. If you are an introvert you may disagree with my suggestion that you learn to speak up and speak out. I I agree that we should be accepted for who we are without having to become extroverts in order to fit into society’s expectations of the ideal leader. But now extroverts are also being told that they need to change their personalities to act more introverted. Moore found in his research that introverts are valued more now than in the past but is it enough?

Tips for Introverts Struggling with Anxiety

By Lesley TaylorPosted on June 27, 2019Posted in IntrovertsTagged Anxiety, Health and Wellness, Introverts, Leadership, Self-care

Tips for Introverts Struggling with Anxiety Is anxiety more of a problem for introverts? I’ve always thought so! A lot of people struggle to cope with anxiety and I wondered if this was more of a problem for introverts as we tend to spend a lot of time rehashing our thoughts. Too Much Anxiety Can Be Bad for Our Health Everyone suffers from anxiety at some point but too much anxiety can affect our well-being in a negative way. Even though anxiety is considered a negative state and something to be avoided at all costs, anxiety may have benefits such as motivating us to take action. But too much internal dialogue can set off a downward spiral of negative feelings. And indeed, anxiety and depression are more common among introverts than extroverts. What’s an Introvert to Do? If you want to get a handle on your anxiety, you’ll need to discover what’s causing you to feel anxious. Do you have financial worries that keep you up at night? Maybe you are looking for work and are feeling anxious about having to go through job interviews. Health concerns are another common cause of worry. Perhaps you have to give a talk at work or at school and you hate public speaking. In addition to these common worries, if you are an introvert you may become anxious because you are thinking too much. Researchers have found that when they looked at the brain activity of introverts AND extroverts it was the introverts who had the highest levels of brain activity. Introverts have a preference for solitude for a reason. It seems that carving out some quiet time throughout the day is essential for our mental health. What Can You Do to Reduce Anxiety? Trying to think your way out of a stressful situation will probably only make it worse. Instead you may want to try something different: Learn to meditate. Mindfulness meditation helps us to become aware of our thoughts when they pop into our head. Meditating helps us to to recognize our thoughts and then tell them to go away instead of rehashing them over and over. It’s not easy to meditate on a regular basis but it is a skill that can be learned and the effort will be well worth it. After struggling to meditate on my own I took classes which made all the difference in the world. Take up drumming. For those of you who prefer being active drumming is a fun form of meditation that requires us to focus. I joined a drumming circle last year and quickly learned that if I let my mind wander I couldn’t keep rhythm with the rest of the group. And, of course, just about any kind of exercise has been proven to reduce anxiety. The important thing is that with a bit of effort you can reduce your anxiety levels. Meditation, drumming and physical exercise are just a few of the things that work for me.

10 Leadership Tips for Introverts

By Lesley TaylorPosted on March 13, 2019Posted in IntrovertsTagged Dynamic Introverts, Introverts, Leadership

Some of the most successful leaders in the world are introverts. What are the secrets to their success? Here are 10 leadership tips to get you started: Tap into your quiet power by connecting to your passion, values and purpose. There is a lot of power in the spoken word. Share your passion and purpose with others. Develop your personal brand. Start by identifying what makes you unique. You can do part of this work on your own but you will also need to ask others for their opinion of what differentiates you from the crowd. Learn how to say “no”. Research conducted at the University of California, San Francisco, showed that the more difficulty that you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression. Author Randy J. Paterson, writes that “assertiveness is about developing the courage to be yourself.” Develop a personal vision. Experts tell us that having a personal vision is the single most important thing we can do in order to succeed in life. Perhaps our biggest challenge is that all day, every day, our senses are inundated with “data”. In other words, we are in a state of constant stimulation. To counter this, and to find the time to dream about the type of future we would like to create, we need to carve out some time just be “be”. People with a lot of energy are more productive, creative and have a positive influence on others. But don’t confuse energy with activity. Introverts may be better at storing energy for when it is needed. Become a “conscious introvert”. By understanding what it means to be introverted you will gain a clearer understanding of who you are. By becoming conscious of who you are you will inevitably develop into a better leader. Stop thinking so much! Mindfulness meditation is a great way to learn how to do this. There are lots of good books on the subject but I would recommend taking a course with a certified instructor. Then it is up to you to practice. The more you practice the more confident you’ll become as a leader. Develop your listening skills. Introverts may make better leaders because they listen to what others have to say. But sometimes we appear to be listening when, in fact, our minds are busy processing what we have just heard or we are searching for the right words. Don’t go it alone! Whatever you want to call it–Dream Team, Mastermind Group—it pays to surround yourself with people who will support you, champion you, listen to you, challenge you and tell you the truth. Successful people, including many successful leaders know when to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength not a weakness. Set reasonable goals and as you move forward enjoy the journey! Sometimes we get so hung up on getting the perfect results that we make ourselves and those around us miserable. Perfectionism takes the spontaneity out of life. So, stop thinking and micro-managing and learn to enjoy your successes. Information on leadership development is available from The Dynamic Introvert. Here’s to your success!

Introverts Can Be Assertive Too!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on February 21, 2019Posted in IntrovertsTagged Assertiveness, Canadian Living Magazine, Introverts, Liza Findlay, Psychology Today, Randy J. Paterson, Toastmasters

INTROVERTS CAN BE ASSERTIVE TOO! Why do so many of us struggle to find the courage to speak up? Over the years I struggled to be assertive. For some reason I found it easier when I was defending my family or the people I worked with. Once I witnessed a man bullying another man in the hospital where I worked. I didn’t speak up and my lack of action haunted me for a long, long time. WHAT IS ASSERTIVENESS? Assertiveness is the ability to “honestly express your opinions, feelings, attitudes, and rights, in a way that doesn’t infringe on the rights of others.” According to Vancouver author and psychologist Randy J. Paterson, “assertiveness is a style and it is one of four styles which include passive, aggressive and passive-aggressive.” Being passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive can have negative connotations. When we are too passive or too aggressive, we may find that our mental health suffers. These behaviors are associated with anxiety, depression and lack of confidence. We all use these styles at different times although most of us use one of styles more than the others. You probably have some idea of which style you prefer but if not Psychology Today provides a good test that you can use. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/tests/personality/assertiveness-test SUGGESTIONS FOR INTROVERTS Introverts are often seen as being passive because we tend to be quiet and often keep our thoughts to ourselves. If we can’t get our point across, we risk being ignored or worse, find ourselves the target of the workplace bully. In the recent issue of Canadian Living Magazine author Liza Findlay shared some thoughts on how to be more assertive in the face of discrimination or bullying, here are a couple of her suggestions: Speak up without saying a word. Non-verbal communication speaks volumes. Use assertive body language such as maintaining direct eye contact and keeping your head up. Use hand gestures to indicate “no” or “stop” and don’t forget to breathe. Focusing on your breath can be very calming Get Backup: Find allies, people who are also concerned about the same things you are and work together to raise your concerns. Does your company’s culture need a refit? Contact someone in the human resources department. Most organizations today are aware of the impact of bullying and want to avoid negative press. ASSERTIVENESS IS A SKILL THAT CAN BE LEARNED! It takes courage to speak up and there could be repercussions so be sure to weigh the risks. As with any skill assertiveness does get easier with practice. Toastmasters is a great place to develop your skills and find your voice.