The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

10 Reasons to Read The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose  According to personality psychologist and author Dr. Brian Little “It’s cool to be an introvert these days”.  And, as I’ve been discovering, the topic of introverts is “priming the pump” for a lot of interesting conversations. In fact, I had one of these conversations this past weekend with Corinne* a colleague who is enrolled in a leadership degree program at a university in British Columbia.  As we talked Corinne informed me that the first time she thought much about her personality was in the residency portion of her leadership program. It seems that one of the most transformative experiences was when her cohort completed the Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) and then debriefed it with their instructor.  Corinne is an extrovert and had never spent much time thinking about the challenges faced by introverts until she observed how they struggled with exhaustion during the 12 hour days that are typical of the two-week residency period. She confessed that “she had just assumed that everyone was like me, that we all process our thoughts in the same way”. She also recognized that her introverted colleagues were struggling to find a way to contribute to conversations in the group.  But Corinne did something that I think is totally brilliant; she changed her behavior to accommodate the introverts in the group. Recognizing that she needed to talk out loud in order to express her ideas she took to writing her ideas down thereby providing some much needed “air time” for the introverts in the group.  What Corinne observed is not unusual. Introverts often find that they are invisible at work or that they are overlooked for promotions or leadership opportunities. Unfortunately not everyone is as aware as Corinne. It may be cool to be an introvert but in most organizations there is still a need for awareness and education about the challenges that introverts face and the strengths that they bring to the workplace.  The Dynamic Introvert is a unique leadership book that… 1. focuses on the strengths of introverts as leaders 2. provides evidence as to why introverts are effective leaders 3. encourages readers to create a Personal Leadership Development Plan or PLDP 4. offers a unique blend of research and practical ideas 5. provides information about how introverts can manage their energy 6. gives the reader self-coaching questions for each section of the book 7. debunks the myth that extroverts make better leaders than introverts 8. offers practical tips for self-promotion 9. challenges readers to think about introverts in a different way 10. advances the introvert conversation  The Dynamic Introvert is available at the following locations:  Village Books in Richmond, B.C. Odin Books in Vancouver Black Bond Book, various locations AND online!  *Corrine’s name was changed to protect her privacy.  

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What is a Dynamic Introvert?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , ,

What is a Dynamic Introvert? “What is a dynamic introvert?” “What does the title of your book mean?” I was taken by surprise by Colleen’s questions. I thought about them for a moment and then I mumbled something unintelligible. As the author of The Dynamic Introvert and an introvert myself I should have had the answers on the tip of my tongue. Colleen’s questions were “spot on” and my subconscious must have been on overdrive because shortly after I got back home, it hit me: the title* of my book The Dynamic Introvert is a “play on words”. Perhaps not in the truest sense: according to Wikipedia a “play on words” is “a literary technique, a form of wit, in which the words that are used become the main focus of the book.” I certainly didn’t intend for The Dynamic Introvert to be a comedy. My aim was to grab reader’s attention, encouraging them to think about what it means to be an introvert and how our understanding of introverts needs to change. I believe that introverts have been misunderstood for too long and that there is nothing funny about being an introvert when you feel overlooked and undervalued. If I have learned one thing while researching and writing The Dynamic Introvert it is that we are all very different and none of us can be “pigeon holed”. Of course there are introverts who are quiet and reserved. These introverts may prefer their own company to the company of others. But most of the introverts I’ve met along the way defy the way introverts are portrayed. So, back to Colleen’s first question what is a dynamic introvert? One of the most brilliant descriptions of a dynamic introvert comes from Judy Curson, a physician and educator in the UK who wrote “I think many of us are dynamic. We just make less fuss and noise about being dynamic than some extraverts. Our energy and enthusiasm is often hidden from the external world.” Many of us are dynamic in the way that Judy describes. We can be social and dynamic in the same way that extroverts can be dynamic. Words such as gregarious, outgoing, fun, interesting, and energetic could be used in place of dynamic here. These are words that I would use to describe the many dynamic introverts who I know and who could easily be mistaken for extroverts. The difference is that these dynamic introverts need “down time” or time to recharge their batteries. This spring Barry and I spent six days at Yellow Point Lodge on Vancouver Island. Yellow Point Lodge was built in the 1940s and hasn’t changed much over the years, or so I’m told. Guests stay in a variety of rustic cabins. Each cabin is strategically placed so that it faces a body of water called The Stuart Channel. There is also accommodation on the second floor of the main lodge. The main floor of the lodge consists of a large communal dining room, kitchen, offices and a great room which has windows on two sides and a massive stone fireplace on the third. This is where people congregate before and after meals and at any time during the day when they are not outdoors enjoying the spectacular scenery. Meals in the dining room take place around large circular tables that seat 9 or 10 people. At each seating we have the opportunity to meet new people and interact with people we have gotten to know over the years. On the surface it appears that the majority of guests are extroverts, due to their outgoing, friendly behavior. But I now know, having vacationed at Yellow Point Lodge for a number of years that things are not what they seem and in fact many of my fellow guests are in fact dynamic introverts.  What is not so obvious, unless one looks for it, is that these introverted guests often disappear throughout the day to recharge their batteries. They quietly leave the group and return to their rooms or go for solitary walks in the woods. Back to Colleen’s questions: What is a Dynamic Introvert? What does the title of the book mean?   What do you think? Is it a play on words or can introverts be dynamic?   * I owe a great deal of gratitude to my editor and friend Margaret Davidson who came up with the title The Dynamic Introvert.    

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The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply! I’m always on the lookout for new ideas to share with my readers. Recently I participated in a webinar sponsored by Blessing White and Catalyst. Blessing White is a global, employee engagement and leadership development consulting firm while Catalyst is a leading non-profit organization dedicated to creating more inclusive workplaces. These two organizations are known for their global research and their progressive leadership programs and recently they teamed up to provide a new series entitled Leading with Inclusion. Inclusion, which they described as “belongingness and uniqueness” is valued by both men and women around the world. Their findings suggest that workers want to be valued for their contributions, their talents and their experiences. But too much focus on uniqueness can lead to alienation. This might happen if your organization created a leadership development program that focused exclusively on one group. Too much focus on belongingness can lead to workers feeling part of the organization only if they conform to expected behaviors…such as introverts feeling they must act like extroverts in order to succeed. The focus of the webinar was on managing diversity in order to turn it into a competitive advantage. And although a part of me wants to see organizations pay attention to diversity because it is the RIGHT thing to do I realize that in most cases organizations won’t spend money on something that doesn’t have a positive impact on the “bottom line”. The way we approach diversity in North America has shifted over the last 30 years from equal rights legislation to affirmative action to diversity management. But, according to the experts at Blessing White and Catalyst, diversity management is not just about “appreciating differences”. If diversity management is to succeed it must deal with unconscious bias. Most of us are not even aware of the biases that affect our daily decisions. During the webinar we were asked to think about the people that report to us and to write down the names of 2 or 3 people. We were then asked to keep those people in mind as we answered the following questions: Who are you most likely to advocate for? Who are you most likely to engage with socially? Whose past experiences are you most familiar with? Who do you have the most conversations with about career goals, aspirations and development needs? And do these people have similar backgrounds, looks, education, personalities etc.? As human beings we tend to gravitate toward people who are most like us…people we feel most comfortable with. We were also asked to reflect on the people who did not make our list and what happens to those people? Being an inclusive leader is not easy and requires self-awareness and the ability to say yes to the following questions: Do you enable all direct reports to develop and excel? Do you admit mistakes, accept and learn from different points of view? Do you provide personalized feedback to help each member of your team develop his or her talents? Do you seek opportunities to mentor or advise employees from a different background than your own? Of course you don’t need to be in a formal leadership position in order to ask yourself the above questions. Diversity is not a new challenge for employers and a lot has changed in the 30 + years since diversity appeared on the human resources radar but there are still issues that organizations need to pay attention to. The most recent challenge for organizations and the one that Blessing White and Catalyst are trying to find answers to is that talented employees continue to leave organizations in droves because they don’t see a “fit” and they don’t feel supported.        

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Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes! Looking back over my career I’m aware of how often I tried to remain invisible at work. Not that I didn’t want to contribute or make a difference in the organizations that I worked for but more often than not I chose to do this quietly and behind the scenes. Despite keeping a low profile I was often singled out for leadership roles and pushed into the “lime light”*. On at least one occasion I protested this unwanted attention but to no avail and in the end I became the manager of a day hospital for elderly patients. If truth be told this was one of the most satisfying times in my career and I am forever grateful to the senior leaders who saw the potential in me, despite my trying to remain out of their sight and “off the radar”. You see, as an introvert, I was much more comfortable in the role of educator, coach or mentor. I loved networking and connecting people and ideas and coming up with novel solutions to problems. I also loved the concept of community building as it applied to the workplace. But I wanted to do this on my own terms behind the scenes. In other words I wanted to remain invisible! In 2014 David Zweig described invisibles as, “a breed of highly satisfied professionals who are outliers because they eschew wider recognition for their efforts.” In his book, Invisibles: The Power of Anonymous Work In An Age of Relentless Self-Promotion, he identifies people who operate behind the scenes in almost every field yet have a huge impact on the success of the firms they work for. It is ok to be invisible if you want to be and this should come as a relief to introverts who often are encouraged to be gregarious and outgoing. But, having said that, I would urge you to think about your career goals and to find ways to get noticed especially if it means the difference between being happy and satisfied in your work or unhappy and frustrated because you are not achieving the things you want in life. Being invisible is one of the challenges faced by introverts who want to become leaders. In The Dynamic Introvert I write, “We may be so good at “hiding in plain sight” that our ideas are ignored or we are overlooked for plum assignments or job promotions.”  Does this sound like you? Tired of being overlooked? Here are three things that you can do right now: Be clear on your goals and what you want to achieve and develop a plan to help you reach your objectives. If being invisible is important to you then stand tall and let people know why you feel the way you do. Remember, you can still make a difference and feel satisfied by being an “unsung hero”. If you want to raise your profile and move into a more visible role then find ways to manage your energy and get clear on your values. Being clear on what is important to you will make it easier to say “no” when you need to. The Dynamic Introvert book * Although today being “in the limelight” means being at the center of attention in the 19th century it had a very different meaning. The limelight was an extremely bright light used in surveying and as stage lighting. It was first used in the theatre in 1837 at Covent Garden in London.

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What Are You Tolerating?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , ,

What Are You Tolerating?  As a coach, “what are you tolerating in your life?” is a question that I often ask my clients. The purpose of the question is to help clients understand what might be getting in the way of their moving forward. Today I’d like to explore the question as it applies to our personal energy. It is difficult to feel energized about anything when one is mired in the detritus of the past. Another way of looking at this is to visualize a large, invisible sack, that you may be carrying around with you. Over the years, you may have found that this sack has become heavier and heavier as you continually add “stuff” to it. The amount and type of “stuff” that can be added is unlimited but people have told me that they feel weighted down by the following:  Unresolved issues Old habits that no longer serve them Negative emotions about people or events Focusing on past failures These are things that we tolerate because we can’t or won’t let them go. Of course we all tolerate things that we shouldn’t: jobs that are boring or that don’t challenge us anymore, relationships that are toxic, behaviors (our own and others) that no longer serve us. Avoiding or tolerating is a huge drain on our energy and something that introverts need to pay particular attention to. According to Marti Olsen Laney in her book The Introvert Advantage, “Genetic research has shown that it takes introverts longer than extroverts to reconstitute themselves when they are depleted.” I thought about this recently after a friend mentioned her struggle to recover her energy. Understanding and managing our energy requirements is especially important for introverts, but this is no simple matter as our energy can be affected by numerous things:  The weather Our fitness level Our diet Our sleep or lack of The quality of our relationships Our mental and physical health Other people’s expectations of us So, determining which, if any, of the above is affecting us is the first step in getting a handle on understanding our energy needs and how we might go about raising our energy levels. Because there are so many variables affecting our personal energy this may take some time but will be well worth it in the end. From an early age many of us are taught to accept life as it is. We learn to “get by” or to “tolerate” what is happening in our lives. But we don’t have to do this! We can identify the things that we tolerate and in doing so we can eliminate them from our lives. So, what are you tolerating?   Lesley          

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Are You A Type A Introvert?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , , ,

Are you a Type A Introvert? Successful leaders are often thought to have Type A personalities. People with Type A personalities are described as being competitive and work obsessed…these people tend to be impatient and talk quickly…which sounds a bit like extroverted behavior. Type B personalities on the other hand are more relaxed, flexible, and laid back Of course, being a Type A personality is not the sole purview of extroverts. In fact, introverts can be just as competitive and work obsessed. We have no problem putting in long hours especially when we are working on something that we are passionate about. Just because we are introverts doesn’t mean we don’t want to get the highest grade in the class or be recognized for being top salesperson of the month. And because we are introverts we have one major advantage over extroverts: we can keep quiet about our how our work is progressing so as not to show our hand. Unlike extroverts who become energized by talking; we have no need to talk about the work we are doing, while we are doing it. However, we are similar to extroverts in that we can easily become impatient when we feel pressured to get something done. This impatience can manifest itself in the form of blurting. We will sit quietly watching the conversation go back and forth, thinking about what we want to say, and then if we are not given the chance to participate we BLURT out what we thinking. Over the years I’ve found myself blurting out my thoughts and ideas while conversing with others. When I finally became aware of what I was doing I tried to stop myself from doing this not realizing that this was due in part to my introversion. Recently I mentioned this to a friend. After giving my concern some consideration she agreed with me that as an introvert she too was “guilty” of blurting. Which leads me to my next question? What exactly is blurting? Just for fun I decided to check in with Google. According to the dictionary blurting means saying something suddenly and without careful consideration. Whoever wrote this definition does not know much about introverts. Introverts tend to blurt, but we do it after carefully considering what we want to say. In fact, we may have been thinking about what we want to say for some time and become frustrated by not having the opportunity to participate in the conversation. Am I a Type A introvert? You be the judge. For most of my adult life I worked full time at a demanding job, juggled my family, friends, and personal life (what personal life?) and attended graduate school…not once but twice. In those days I had a very short fuse and quickly became impatient when I was short on time, which was most days. These days I tend to be more laid back and relaxed, partly because I became aware of my Type A behavior and have worked hard to change it and partly because my life is not so hectic. Here is some additional information about Introversion that you may find interesting: Introversion: Signs, Types, & Misconceptions Anxiety Disorders: Types, Treatments, Symptoms & More

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