Lesley Taylor - The Dynamic Introvert

Are You Questioning the Status Quo

By Lesley TaylorPosted on January 12, 2016Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged Barry Posner, challenge the process, Introverts, James Kouzes, Leadership, Lesley Taylor, Lolly Daskal, Self-Coaching Questions for Introverts, The Dynamic Introvert, The Leadership Challenge

Are You Questioning the Status Quo? Perhaps one of the most crucial—and most difficult—aspects of being a leader is the need to continually question the status quo. Most of us don’t like constant change but we risk losing out on opportunities to grow if we refuse to consider alternatives. A few years ago a friend and fellow introvert told me he thought that questioning the status quo was difficult for introverts. Of course he was speaking from his own experience but I too have found myself afraid to speak up when the stakes were high. Looking back I realize that this was situational and that it was most difficult to for me to speak up when I was in in a management meeting and I was competing with other managers. Perhaps my voice was too quiet or I hadn’t yet “found my voice” or my confidence. Perhaps I didn’t feel safe in speaking up against decisions that were being made by people in more senior leadership positions. A recent review of an online thesaurus provided the following synonyms for challenging the status quo: cause trouble, complain, protest, disagree, make waves, etc. If these are the words that are reserved for people who do speak up then it’s no wonder that many of us prefer to keep quiet. Of course there were other situations when it was easier for me to challenge the process—when I was urging my own team to reach higher goals or develop new programs or services or when I was challenging myself to learn something new. I first came across the concept of challenging the status quo or process in The Leadership Challenge written by James Kouzes and Barry Posner. In their book the authors focus on two main areas: searching for opportunities and experimenting and taking risks. It can be risky to speak up but if you are fortunate to work in an organization that recognizes and rewards you for challenging the process your job will be that much easier. Change can evoke feelings of fear or powerlessness. But it is also a fact of life and leaders are in the business of helping people and organizations change successfully. What can we do to prepare ourselves and the people who work in our organizations? Start by preparing yourself. Answer the following questions and then discuss your answers with your boss or with a coach or colleague. STOP & REFLECT Why is challenging the process difficult? Is it more difficult for introverts than for extroverts? When have I challenged the process? Was I successful? What did I learn about myself? In what situations would I find it easy to challenge the process? In what situations would I find it difficult to challenge the process? How can I make it both safe and rewarding for others to speak up and suggest improvements or changes? Challenging the status quo is one of the most powerful skills that we can learn. I’d like to leave you with a quote from Lolly Daskal who reminds us: “Don’t challenge for challenge’s sake; learn from the experience.” The Dynamic Introvert!

The Power Of Giving

By Lesley TaylorPosted on December 7, 2015Posted in IntrovertsTagged Giving, Gumboot Cafe - Roberts Creek, Happiness, Health and Wellness, Kiva, Lesley Taylor, Meaning, Science Magazine, Serving Others, The Dynamic Introvert, The Power of Serving Others

The Power of Giving 1. There is more to giving than the exchange of gifts! Greetings! For most of us it is traditional to give gifts to family and friends during the holiday season. But how many of us extend our giving to those outside this close circle? Recently I came across the book The Power of Serving Others, by Gary Morsch and Dean Nelson. Gary Morsch is a physician and the founder of the Heart to Heart Organization which provides relief to people around the globe. Dean Nelson is a journalist. Gary and Dean’s message is: You can start where you are! 1. Everyone has something to give. 2. Most people are willing to give it if they see the need and the opportunity. 3. Everyone can do something for someone right now. There are MANY benefits for those of us who serve others. For instance, giving to others, in whatever way we can, gives our lives meaning. Scientists have been busy studying the effects of giving on human health & behavior. In fact scientists are now discovering that “serving others is part of our genetic code”. In March an article in Science reported that “people who spend more of their income on others are happier than people who spend more on themselves”. There are numerous ways you can give to others: volunteering and donating to charity are two of the most common, but there are other opportunities to make a difference. Kiva is a microfinance organization that is making it possible for us to transform the lives of people by giving them “micro loans”. In fact you can support someone by lending them as little as $25.00. This is possible because Kiva helps us to connect with others who are also interested in “micro lending”. Kiva’s mission is to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty. This organization makes it possible for us to lend small amounts of money to entrepreneurs around the world. You won’t get a financial return on your money but your original investment will be returned and you will have made a huge difference in someone’s life. There is very little risk involved as the majority of loan recipients repay their loans. You can find out more by checking out Kiva’s website below. Finally, if you still need a reason to do something for others this holiday season, another research study has found, “that people who focused on themselves were more likely to have coronary heart disease, than people who focused on others.” Remember, you can do something right now! As you make plans to celebrate the upcoming holiday season think about one small thing you can do to help someone else. Gumboot Rules These wonderful rules for life come from the Gumboot Garden Café in Roberts Creek B.C.: · The best things in life aren’t things · Never judge a day by the weather · Tell the truth—there’s less to remember · Speak softly and wear a loud shirt · Goals are deceptive—the unaimed arrow never misses · Age is relative—when you are over the hill you pick up speed · There are two ways to be rich, make more or desire less · Beauty is internal—looks mean nothing…and for those of us living on the wet, west coast…NO RAIN…NO RAINBOWS This month’s favorite websites: www.kiva.org This organization provides micro loans to people around the world who live in poverty. These people are entrepreneurs who need small loans to become self-reliant. I have been supporting KIVA for years. If you are travelling on the Sunshine Coast you really must stop in Roberts Creek and experience The Gumboot Café! This post was originally written for my coaching website and appeared as e-Newsletter #9, November/December, 2008 Lesley at www.thedynamicintrovert.com

The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on July 27, 2015Posted in IntrovertsTagged BlessingWhite, Catalyst, Diversity, Inclusion, Inclusive Leadership, Introverts, Leadership, Lesley Taylor, Talent Management, The Dynamic Introvert

The Changing Face of Diversity Leadership – Why Introverts Need Apply! I’m always on the lookout for new ideas to share with my readers. Recently I participated in a webinar sponsored by Blessing White and Catalyst. Blessing White is a global, employee engagement and leadership development consulting firm while Catalyst is a leading non-profit organization dedicated to creating more inclusive workplaces. These two organizations are known for their global research and their progressive leadership programs and recently they teamed up to provide a new series entitled Leading with Inclusion. Inclusion, which they described as “belongingness and uniqueness” is valued by both men and women around the world. Their findings suggest that workers want to be valued for their contributions, their talents and their experiences. But too much focus on uniqueness can lead to alienation. This might happen if your organization created a leadership development program that focused exclusively on one group. Too much focus on belongingness can lead to workers feeling part of the organization only if they conform to expected behaviors…such as introverts feeling they must act like extroverts in order to succeed. The focus of the webinar was on managing diversity in order to turn it into a competitive advantage. And although a part of me wants to see organizations pay attention to diversity because it is the RIGHT thing to do I realize that in most cases organizations won’t spend money on something that doesn’t have a positive impact on the “bottom line”. The way we approach diversity in North America has shifted over the last 30 years from equal rights legislation to affirmative action to diversity management. But, according to the experts at Blessing White and Catalyst, diversity management is not just about “appreciating differences”. If diversity management is to succeed it must deal with unconscious bias. Most of us are not even aware of the biases that affect our daily decisions. During the webinar we were asked to think about the people that report to us and to write down the names of 2 or 3 people. We were then asked to keep those people in mind as we answered the following questions: Who are you most likely to advocate for? Who are you most likely to engage with socially? Whose past experiences are you most familiar with? Who do you have the most conversations with about career goals, aspirations and development needs? And do these people have similar backgrounds, looks, education, personalities etc.? As human beings we tend to gravitate toward people who are most like us…people we feel most comfortable with. We were also asked to reflect on the people who did not make our list and what happens to those people? Being an inclusive leader is not easy and requires self-awareness and the ability to say yes to the following questions: Do you enable all direct reports to develop and excel? Do you admit mistakes, accept and learn from different points of view? Do you provide personalized feedback to help each member of your team develop his or her talents? Do you seek opportunities to mentor or advise employees from a different background than your own? Of course you don’t need to be in a formal leadership position in order to ask yourself the above questions. Diversity is not a new challenge for employers and a lot has changed in the 30 + years since diversity appeared on the human resources radar but there are still issues that organizations need to pay attention to. The most recent challenge for organizations and the one that Blessing White and Catalyst are trying to find answers to is that talented employees continue to leave organizations in droves because they don’t see a “fit” and they don’t feel supported.

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on June 27, 2015Posted in IntrovertsTagged David Zweig, Happiness, Introverts, Invisibles Book, Leadership, Lesley Taylor, Quiet Leadership, The Dynamic Introvert

Introverts Are Our Unsung Heroes! Looking back over my career I’m aware of how often I tried to remain invisible at work. Not that I didn’t want to contribute or make a difference in the organizations that I worked for but more often than not I chose to do this quietly and behind the scenes. Despite keeping a low profile I was often singled out for leadership roles and pushed into the “lime light”*. On at least one occasion I protested this unwanted attention but to no avail and in the end I became the manager of a day hospital for elderly patients. If truth be told this was one of the most satisfying times in my career and I am forever grateful to the senior leaders who saw the potential in me, despite my trying to remain out of their sight and “off the radar”. You see, as an introvert, I was much more comfortable in the role of educator, coach or mentor. I loved networking and connecting people and ideas and coming up with novel solutions to problems. I also loved the concept of community building as it applied to the workplace. But I wanted to do this on my own terms behind the scenes. In other words I wanted to remain invisible! In 2014 David Zweig described invisibles as, “a breed of highly satisfied professionals who are outliers because they eschew wider recognition for their efforts.” In his book, Invisibles: The Power of Anonymous Work In An Age of Relentless Self-Promotion, he identifies people who operate behind the scenes in almost every field yet have a huge impact on the success of the firms they work for. It is ok to be invisible if you want to be and this should come as a relief to introverts who often are encouraged to be gregarious and outgoing. But, having said that, I would urge you to think about your career goals and to find ways to get noticed especially if it means the difference between being happy and satisfied in your work or unhappy and frustrated because you are not achieving the things you want in life. Being invisible is one of the challenges faced by introverts who want to become leaders. In The Dynamic Introvert I write, “We may be so good at “hiding in plain sight” that our ideas are ignored or we are overlooked for plum assignments or job promotions.” Does this sound like you? Tired of being overlooked? Here are three things that you can do right now: Be clear on your goals and what you want to achieve and develop a plan to help you reach your objectives. If being invisible is important to you then stand tall and let people know why you feel the way you do. Remember, you can still make a difference and feel satisfied by being an “unsung hero”. If you want to raise your profile and move into a more visible role then find ways to manage your energy and get clear on your values. Being clear on what is important to you will make it easier to say “no” when you need to. The Dynamic Introvert book * Although today being “in the limelight” means being at the center of attention in the 19th century it had a very different meaning. The limelight was an extremely bright light used in surveying and as stage lighting. It was first used in the theatre in 1837 at Covent Garden in London.

How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on April 7, 2015Posted in IntrovertsTagged De-stress, Dopamine, Dr. Brian Little, Introverted Activity, Lesley Taylor, Meditation for Introverts, Psychology Today, Re-energize, Restorative Niche, The Dynamic Introvert, Thich Nhat Hanh

How Does Meditation Help Introverts Succeed? The other week I participated in a meditation workshop at Tandava Yoga in Kelowna, B.C. While I was sitting on my mat I started thinking about how meditation might be of benefit to introverts. The purpose of meditation is to help us quiet our minds and over the years research has proven that meditation can help us to, among other things, reduce high blood pressure, sleep better, and improve our body’s immune functioning. In fact, meditation even helps students achieve better grades in school. But how can meditation help introverts to succeed? Stephen A Diamond, PhD writing in Psychology Today suggests that meditation is an “introverted activity one that extroverts should do more of and introverts less”. Diamond argues that introverts need to spend more time extroverting themselves in order to find balance in their lives. Fair enough. Getting back to the meditation class at Tandava Yoga, our instructor informed us that humans are capable of processing 2000 thoughts per hour. Those of you familiar with meditation will know about the “monkey brain” which refers to how our thoughts jump around in our heads not unlike a monkey jumping from tree to tree. I believe that the concept of the “monkey brain” applies equally to both introverts and extroverts. And I have to disagree with Dr. Diamond. Meditation may be an “introverted activity” in that it is typically done quietly but I believe that introverts should spend more time meditating, not less. You see, introverts tend to think too much. We like to spend time in our heads and when this activity is combined with the excess dopamine that naturally occurs in our introverted brains we are in danger of being overstimulated. And this is what saps our energy and why we need to meditate in order to help us calm down and function better! There are many different types of meditation but the one thing that is common to all of them is learning how to slow down and focus on our breath. I found the following passage from Thich Nhat Hanh. It is called Thinking Less: “While we practice conscious breathing, our thinking will slow down, and we can give ourselves a real rest. Most of the time, we think too much, and mindful breathing helps us to be calm, relaxed, and peaceful…Of course, thinking is important, but quite a lot of our thinking is useless.” As an introvert thinking is my “fall-back position”. Even in a social situation I will often resort to thinking about what is going on or what I might say rather than just saying it. This is the exact opposite of what an extrovert will do. Most extroverts are more comfortable talking and don’t get stuck with words going round and round inside their heads. Meditation is an important skill for introverts to learn. It can help us to get control over our “monkey brain” so that we can focus on what we want to say or do. This is especially true when we are in situations where there are a lot of distractions because these external distractions make it difficult for us to think clearly. Meditation can also provide what Dr. Brian Little calls a “restorative niche”. This is the place we can go to in order to de-stress and re-energize.

Dialogue At Work – The Dynamic Introvert’s Advantage

By Lesley TaylorPosted on January 27, 2015Posted in IntrovertsTagged David Bohm, Dialogue, Dynamic Introverts, introverted leaders, Introverts, Lesley Taylor, Nancy M. Dixon, Nominal group technique, Personality differences, William Isaacs

Dialogue at Work – The Dynamic Introvert’s Advantage Recently I was asked to share some suggestions for ways to draw out introverts in a group setting in order to enhance learning for themselves as well as for others. I quickly thought about a few different facilitation tools that would work (the nominal group technique is one) and then I remembered DIALOGUE. When I first read about using dialogue back in the 1990’s the idea really resonated with me. In hindsight I think this was because, as an introvert, I struggled to get my voice heard above the cacophony of noise in most of the meetings that I attended. Introverts often struggle to be heard in meetings. Given our personality differences it should come as no surprise that introverts and extroverts communicate differently. Extroverts tend to talk more often, more quickly and more confidently while introverts listen more than they speak and may appear tentative and less confident. Dialogue is an often overlooked facilitation tool that enhances learning and makes it possible for everyone to share their ideas and experiences. Dialogue is easy to learn but it takes a bit of practice to be able to use it effectively. What is dialogue? According to the Cambridge online dictionary dialogue is a “conversation that is written for a book, play, or film”. I’m using a somewhat different definition of dialogue in today’s blog post. Dialogue in this sense is a type of group communication that encourages participants to slow down, be in the moment and really listen to what everyone is saying. It is often used in situations where there is conflict or as William Isaacs, author of Dialogue and the Art of Thinking Together, describes it, “dialogue is more than just the exchange of words, but rather the embrace of different points of view—literally the art of thinking together”. Here is a list of ground rules that are typically used in a dialogue session: Listen and speak without judgement Acknowledge each speaker Respect differences Suspend your role and status Avoid cross-talk Focus on learning Check your assumptions If you are an introvert and want to change the way your meetings are run so that you can “get a word in edgewise” you might introduce the idea of dialogue and offer to organize the first session. If your company or group already uses dialogue on a regular basis I would appreciate hearing about your experiences. Here are two books that I’ve found useful and I’m sure there are many more resources available on the internet: On Dialogue by David Bohm published in 1996 and Perspectives on Dialogue: Making Talk Developmental for Individuals and Organizations by Nancy M. Dixon also published in 1996. And if you are an introvert you probably have an advantage when it comes to using dialogue because you are wired to slow down and listen before you speak.