The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

Introverts Are Not Shy

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , ,

Last week a young woman approached me at an author event I was participating in at the Surrey Public Library. She told me that she was fed up with people telling her she was shy. I understand her frustration but what I don’t understand is the persistent myth that introversion and shyness are the same. They’re not! Introversion and Shyness are Not the Same In 2014 I wrote “Introversion and shyness are often confused with each other. Shyness is a fear and avoidance of social situations. Unlike introverts who feel energized by spending time alone, shy people want to connect with others but are afraid to do so.” Last year author and psychologist Arlin Cuncic provided a similar definition for her article in Very Well Mind “Shyness and introversion are commonly mistaken as being the same thing. Shyness involves fear of negative evaluation (and shares some similarities with social anxiety) whereas introversion refers to a tendency toward becoming overstimulated and the need to be alone to gain energy.” I know a lot of introverts and I am pretty sure none of them are shy. Stop Labeling Introverts as Shy In fact, only about 15% of us are born with a tendency toward shyness. This may be biological or because of how our parents raise us. I’m also aware that it’s become too easy to label people. A few years ago one of my nephews announced that he had “social anxiety”. He was 16 at the time. He’s not alone of course. Every day it seems we are told that there is a mental health crisis and young people are most at risk. More recently another young family member was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and ADHD. At the time I thought “What does being labelled at a young age do to a person and how does someone cope with such a heavy burden? No matter what cards you are dealt it’s important to know who you are and what you are dealing with. There are plenty of ways to learn if you are introverted. The Myers-Briggs Personality Test has a long track record. Psychologists may be helpful especially if you are struggling with shyness and want to learn how to manage your anxiety. Helpful Suggestions for Overcoming Shyness Cuncic provides some great suggestions for shy individuals: Appreciate your strengths and build on them Start looking for opportunities to practice different social behaviors in different settings. This could be dropping in at a friend’s place, joining Toastmasters to practice public speaking or going to local gym. Use relaxation techniques like meditation and deep breathing to reduce feelings of anxiety. Introverts can also start by assessing their strengths and learning as much as they can about what it means to be introverted. When I was writing The Dynamic Introvert the number one take away for me was how to manage my energy.

Read More

Introversion is My Superpower!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , ,

It’s been 10 years since I wrote The Dynamic Introvert. Last fall I was curious to see what people were saying about introverts and what I found surprised me. The first articles I read focused on introversion as a superpower. The one written by Adrian at the London University was directed toward students. The other, an article which appeared in the Telegraph, was written by Helena Morrissey. Morrissey’s article was entitled “Being an Introvert is a Workplace Superpower.” Both articles were published in the fall of 2024. Progress is Slow But despite having made a lot of progress in the last ten years there is still a lot of work to be done. We are still not seen as equal to extroverts when it comes to our leadership abilities. How do I know that? “In October, 2024 The World Economic Forum reported that “When you look at the average salaries of different personality types, one overarching theme emerges: Extroverts tend to earn more than introverts.” Personality Impacts How Much You Earn. And there have been other studies looking at how personality traits, specifically introversion and extroversion, influence lifetime earnings and career prospects. Why, despite all of the work that’s been done to advance introverts, are we still seen as being lesser than? Of course since 2014 more and more companies have recognized the value of diversifying their leadership teams. And individuals are more likely to be aware of their personality traits and how to showcase them to their advantage. “In his 2002 bestseller, Good to Great, Jim Collins popularized the idea of “getting the right people on the bus”. He was referring to an organization’s mandate to hire employees with the right combination of skills, attitude, experience and knowledge. And while Collins was not thinking about personality types specifically, his findings support the need for a quiet leader, one who listens and creates opportunities for others to contribute their ideas. Introverts Make Great Leaders Introverts are ideal candidates for this leadership model; they present a hidden advantage in winning the “war for talent”. 10 years has passed and thanks to the groundbreaking work of authors Marti Olsen Laney, Laurie Helgoe, Susan Cain and others we know that being an introvert is something to be celebrated, even envied. Over the past 10 years we have learned a lot about introverts and introversion. Some even see introversion as a superpower but there is still a lot of work to do to combat the negative perceptions of introverts.      

Read More

Have Introverts Benefited from the Quiet Revolution ?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

Susan Cain’s blockbuster book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking unleased a ‘quiet revolution’ that changed, for the better, how introverts are perceived. Before the Quiet Revolution launched introverts were compared with extroverts and were found lacking: “Introversion existed somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology, something to be overcome.” Thanks to Susan Cain’s advocacy, introverts were suddenly seen as having characteristics that were different but just as important as extroverts. What are some positive characteristics of introverts? Positive characteristics of introverts include the ability to, focus and concentrate, listen deeply provide a type of quiet leadership so badly needed in our frenetic, unfocused society All of a sudden it was ok to identify as an introvert and to ask for a quiet space in which to work or to be given time to think before asking questions in an important meeting. Following the release of Quiet many other writers and educators jumped onboard the introvert train and a flurry of articles, books, podcasts, and workshops appeared in rapid succession.  I followed Cain’s work and the work of others for some years and then moved on to other things. What is new in the introvert universe? Fast forward to last month when I checked in with Google to see if anything was new in the introvert universe. The Quiet Revolution has changed the culture of many workplaces and schools but it seems that we still have “a long way to go” as Cain noted in a 2022 Vanity Fair article. In this article, Susan Cain, Chief Introvert, Ventures Into the Sublime, Aaron Fedor asked Cain if she believed that introversion had surpassed its status as a second-class personality trait. Cain replied, “there’s still a long way to go…before introverts feel like they don’t have to disguise who they are in some way.” Where is all this leading you may ask? After not keeping up with The Dynamic Introvert blog I’ve decided to start blogging again. First of all I want to know why introverts continue to be seen as second-class citizens when it comes to their personalities. Secondly, I’ll go through The Dynamic Introvert Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose to discover what is still relevant and what is outdated. The idea is not to revise the book but to share what I learn with readers of The Dynamic Introvert blog. We’ve come a long way since the publication of Quiet but according to Susan Cain, we still have a way to go before introverts are seen as important as extroverts. What do you think? [contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]

Read More

Mindfulness For The Overthinking Introvert

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Mindfulness for the Overthinking Introvert Mindfulness is a super power and accessible to you anytime, says Dan Harris author and former ABC news anchor. I’ve often wondered if overthinking or ruminating is more common for introverts. I think we spend more time “in our heads” thinking about things. That’s how we process new information and how we re-energize. Extroverts, on the other hand prefer to process new information by talking with someone. It’s also how they re-energize.  Is one approach healthier than the other? Of course not! Neither approach is superior; it’s just the way we are wired. But if you are like me and have lost sleep worrying about something or missed out on an opportunity because you took too long to make a decision you may want to find ways to stop overthinking. What exactly is rumination anyway? According to one dictionary ruminating mean deep thinking. Put this way it doesn’t seem so bad. We all admire deep thinkers over people who don’t seem to have a serious thought in their heads. Like me, you have probably spent time thinking about the state of the world, about the forest fires burning in California and the Amazon jungle, or the huge pile of plastic that is floating around in the Pacific Ocean. I hate to admit it but I have spent sleepless nights laying awake worrying about these things. Thinks I really can’t do much about, at least not while I’m trying to sleep. The end result, apart from not sleeping, has been an increase in feeling anxious and scared. Yes, rumination does have a negative side and it can lead to anxiety and depression if we don’t become aware of how our ruminating is hurting us.  And it can lead to isolation if you spend so much time in your head that it prevents you from spending time with other people. Are introverts prone to overthinking. According to scientists, the two areas of the brain associated with overthinking — the frontal cortex and Broca’s area — are very active in introverts. The frontal cortex is the part of the brain responsible for remembering, planning, decision-making, and problem-solving, while Broca’s area is associated with self-talk. Researchers found that it didn’t matter whether introverts were in a resting state or engaged in a task — they all showed more brain activity than the extroverts. This means introverts may process more information than extroverts per second, which helps explain why introverts are prone to overthinking. ! So, how to stop yourself from ruminating/worrying? One way is to try and stop the worrying thoughts. Easier said than done but mindfulness really is a superpower and a set of skills that can be learned fairly easily. What is mindfulness? “Mindfulness is “moment to moment awareness” wrote Jon Kabat-Zinn in his groundbreaking book, Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain and Illness. There are different ways to learn how to be mindful. Some years ago, I had high blood pressure and signed up for an 8-week Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course taught by psychologist Marian Smith in Vancouver. After the course and practicing mindfulness regularly for a short period of time my BP was back to normal. MBSR is modeled after the course that Jon Kabat-Zinn developed at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. There are many ways to learn mindfulness meditation both on-line and in person. One of the most successful examples of how the use of mindfulness provides tangible benefits comes from Google in the form of the Search Inside Yourself (SIY) program. What began as the vision of Google engineer Chade-Meng Tan back in 2007 has now become a worldwide phenomenon. SIY is available to individuals, organizations and communities in 50 countries around the world. The course is based on the best-selling book: Search Inside Yourself: The Unexpected Path to Achieving Success, Happiness (and world peace) by Chade-Meng Tan. If you are an introvert who would like to lead a more mindful life you have many options to chose from. Do a bit of research and pick one to start with. Maybe try taking 3 deep breaths when you are feeling overwhelmed. Or sign up for a mindfulness mediation course on-line or in person. One final suggestion, try not to spend too much time thinking about which one approach might work for you. All are proven to be beneficial. Cheers! @lesleyauthor    

Read More

Dynamic Inactivity – Think Before You Act!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , ,

I love reading mystery books. One of my favorite new authors is G.M. Malliet and it was while reading one of her Max Tudor mysteries that I came across the term dynamic inactivity.  Father Max retired MI5 agent turned Anglican minister used the term to describe his state of mind while sifting through the clues in a murder that he was investigating. Of course the words dynamic inactivity resonated with me as it seems to be a perfect description of what introverts do on a regular basis.  We pause and we think. Unfortunately, despite the fact that we are dynamically engaged in what we are thinking about our pauses are usually misconstrued as inactivity. But what exactly is dynamic inactivity and where did this term originate? In 1972 psychologist and NYPD detective Harvey Schlossberg began using what was later to become known as dynamic inactivity to describe a more peaceful approach to resolving hostage situations. Up until that time hostage situations were hostile, chaotic and unpredictable, more often than not resulting in people being injured or killed. Harvey Schlossberg recognized the need for an approach that was based more on psychology than brute force and found that he was able to engage the suspect or suspects by actively listening to their concerns and engaging them in the hostage process. Now-a-days hostage negotiators are expected to have the following skills: patience, active listening, respect for others, calmness, self-awareness and adaptability. So apart from this interesting bit of history what can introverts’ learn from all of this? It validates something that we naturally do. Think before we act! Giving us another way to explain our behavior if questioned by a colleague who doesn’t understand how the introvert’s mind works. Another reason to embrace dynamic inactivity is that it can help us to prevent burnout. In a blog post leadership coach Daniela Bryan writes that “Decision making drains our energy and if we don’t protect ourselves we may end up with decision fatigue.” These days many of us are struggling to manage our energy and Bryan recommends that her readers “think before they act”. If you’d like to read more on the subject of personal energy I devot an entire chapter to energy management in my book The Dynamic Introvert: Leading Quietly with Passion and Purpose including a section on how to avoid burnout. Cheers! The Dynamic Introvert [contact-form][contact-field label=”Name” type=”name” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Email” type=”email” required=”true” /][contact-field label=”Website” type=”url” /][contact-field label=”Message” type=”textarea” /][/contact-form]      

Read More

Step Up And Lead With Passion and Purpose – Lessons from the Streets of Vancouver

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , ,

Step Up and Lead with Passion and Purpose – Lessons from the Streets of Vancouver   In my last post I focused on confidence and I have to agree with Dr. Roet that our confidence increases the more we challenge ourselves and we succeed. Today I want to share a story about a woman whose organization is all about helping people build confidence by challenging themselves and succeeding each and every day they go to work. There are many successful introverts who prefer to stay out of the limelight but for most of us challenging ourselves even a little bit can help us learn new things and increase our confidence so we can become outstanding leaders. Here’s an example, I recently read about the experience of Jessica Hannon, executive director of Megaphone Magazine, and self-described introvert. For those of you not familiar with Megaphone it is part of a world-wide street paper network that is helping homeless and marginalized people to change their lives. In fact, there are currently 9000 vendors in 34 countries around the globe. In the February, 2018 issue of Megaphone Jessica shared her story with the magazine’s readers: When I was first hired at Megaphone five years ago, I gave selling magazines on the street a try. Honestly, it was terrifying. I’m an introvert as it is, and there’s a real sense of vulnerability when you’re out there on the street. But then, soon enough, it wasn’t so bad. That experience reminds me how much I admire our vendors, who push through the discomfort to put themselves out there. And the first time I did it, it was really intimidating, just like the first few times I had to speak in front of a crowd. I used to be very afraid of public speaking, of approaching people in public, and of making requests of people – for fundraising, for instance. I still feel it sometimes, but it has lost most of its power over me just through repetition. It was scary the first time I spoke in front of a room of people, but I did it because I cared about what I was doing very much, and each time I did it after that, it got a little more familiar and a little less scary. Many years ago I was introduced to Megaphone by Bob, one of the vendors in Vancouver, and ever since then I have been impressed by how the Megaphone organization has grown and developed. So when I read Jessica’s story in February I wanted to learn more about how this fearless introvert had found the courage to leave her comfort zone and step into a situation that felt strange and uncomfortable. I think what made it possible for me to step out of my comfort zone in that moment was: My love for Megaphone was greater than my fear of discomfort. Because it is an organization and a cause I care very deeply about, and it was important for me to understand the vendor experience, I gritted my teeth and moved through the discomfort. Being passionate about what you are doing goes a long way to making it possible for you to push yourself out of your comfort zone. Here are a few additional ideas to help you succeed: Get comfortable with challenging yourself. Push yourself a little bit at a time. Stop and reflect on what you are learning through your experiences. Learn to deal with low levels of anxiety and stress Build in some down time to recharge your energy levels. And please check out what Jessica and her team are doing and find ways to support the work of this amazing organization.  Lesley            

Read More
Scroll to top