The Dynamic Introvert

The Dynamic Introvert

How Do Introverts Learn to Lead?

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

How Do Introverts Learn to Lead?   Are leaders born or can leadership be learned? This is an age old question and one that Sarah Wilson is exploring as part of her MBA research. Sarah, who lives in the UK, found my book The Dynamic Introvert online and contacted me to see if I would be interested in participating in her research. In 2012 when I began exploring the topic of leadership there wasn’t a lot research specifically devoted to introverted leaders. At that time author Jennifer Kahnweiler had published her book The Introverted Leader and authors and researchers Adam Grant, Francesca Gino and David Hofmann had published their research into the strengths of introverted leaders. Since then a handful of research projects have been written up in academic journals but none, as far as I know, have looked specifically at the question of how introverts learn to lead. Sarah is interested in the “lived experiences” of introverts and so she asked me to complete a timeline identifying the people and events that had the greatest influence on my career. And as I completed the timeline and looked back on my career there were a number of things that jumped out at me: I had a lot of really great mentors. Very early on in my career there were senior leaders who recognized the potential in me and pushed me to step into leadership positions that I wouldn’t have considered if it wasn’t for their support. I was a “lifelong learner” and took advantage of every opportunity to develop myself as a person and as a leader. Sometimes the courses were provided by my employers but more often than not I paid for them out of my own pocket because I recognized the need to develop my leadership skills. Teaching and helping others was also important to me and I took every opportunity I could to mentor and coach my colleagues as well as students and others who were interested in learning with me. So, how did I learn to lead? Like most of us I learned through a combination of experience and formal education. One of the things that stood out for me as I worked on my timeline was this. I am a humble, quiet leader and I’m happy to develop and promote others. And the fact that I was an introvert didn’t prevent others from noticing my strengths and seeing the potential in me. Over the years I was offered a number of key leadership positions including social work leader and co-leader of a geriatric medical clinic. Of course there were challenges along the way as well. Challenges that I believe other introverts face: I probably spent too much time spent thinking on my own when it may have been more beneficial to talk things through with a colleague or just move into action. I didn’t find my “voice” until I was in my 50’s and I credit Toastmasters for that. Up until then I was invisible in a lot of groups and despite having great ideas I didn’t always get them across to the people who could have helped me to develop and implement them. I asked Sarah why she had decided to focus on how introverts learn to lead for her research project. This is what she said, “I chose the subject as after reading Susan Cain’s 2012 book, Quiet I was inspired to research and learn more about how someone becomes a leader if they are an introvert.  My job role currently involves supporting the leadership team in local government and I found it interesting that mostly extroverts are appointed into senior leadership positions. “ So, as we come to the end of 2017 I’d like you to reflect on how far introverts have come since Susan Cain’s 2012 blockbuster book opened the world’s eyes to the challenges that many introverts face. And as we welcome 2018 you might want to identify your own leadership development goals or if you are in a leadership position consider how you might mentor or coach an introvert who shows potential and would appreciate you help.   Happy New Year! All the best for 2018!    

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Introverts Unite: Recognize and Celebrate Your Quiet Strengths

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , ,

We all have them–strengths I mean. Unfortunately, introverts, especially those of us working in extroverted work environments may not value our strengths. In fact, we may focus more on our weaknesses, comparing ourselves to our more outgoing and energetic co-workers. It’s no wonder we act this way as we are encouraged from an early age to be more extroverted. This is what author Susan Cain describes as “the extrovert ideal”. She writes, “We live with a value system that I call The Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight.” Fortunately, in our fast-paced, hyper-active and unfocused world, there is a growing recognition that the strengths that introverts bring to the workplace are vital for the success of both individuals and the organizations that they work in. And as we learn to value our introverted strengths we can be role models for others. But first we may need to identify, develop, value and accept our quiet strengths. Each of us will have our own strengths but I’d like to share a few that I think are worth celebrating: Listening and engaging others which are important leadership skills Staying cool and calm under pressure Thinking first and talking later which usually leads to better decision-making Networking because we tend to listen and develop close relationships with people Sales because we listen and are able to develop relationships with a diverse group of people Conflict resolution…again because we are able to listen and allow space for others to solve their own problems So, how do we go about identifying our strengths? There are many different ways to do this depending on how much time and money we have. The cheapest may be just to ask yourself some questions and reflect on your answers: What energizes you? How can I do more of this? What do you value about who you are and what you do for others? What have you accomplished so far in life and how have you been able to this? And there are some brilliant on-line resources and tools such as the ones available from the Authentic Happiness website at the University of Pennsylvania which offers a free “short strengths survey”. Another way to identify your unique strengths is to ask other people so be prepared to listen to the positive things that people have to say about who you are and what you do best. Cheers!  

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Do You Suffer from Imposter Syndrome? You’re Not Alone!

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , ,

Do you suffer from imposter syndrome? Are introverts more likely to worry about how we are perceived by others? What is imposter syndrome anyway? These are some of the questions I’ve been pondering this week. The term first appeared on our radar in the 1970s. Imposter syndrome (IS) was described by Dr. Pauline R. Clance in reference to high-achieving individuals who were unable to recognize their accomplishments and had a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud”. The main symptoms appear to be anxiety or fear. Most of us feel self-doubt at some point in our careers. This is especially true when we first start out or have been recently promoted. But when this self-doubt continues for a protracted period of time it can have a negative impact on our health and our success in life. When I graduated from the University of British Columbia with my newly minted social work degree I felt like a fraud; I had virtually no experience and yet I was expected to help my clients deal with challenging life and death issues. Like many people who suffer from (IS) I felt that once I had more experience I would feel more confident. My “plan of attack” was to continually take work-related courses and work hard. But is this more of an issue for introverts? According to professor of adult education Stephen Brookfield, “introverts are less likely to admit to others that they are struggling and more likely to obsess or ruminate on their own.” On the plus side, Dr. Brookfield acknowledges that “Imposter Syndrome keeps us humble and aware of areas we need to improve on.” But aren’t most introverts already humble enough? Pamela Catapia, registered clinical counsellor agrees that there is a plus side to imposter syndrome, “If you have IS, you’re likely a caring conscientious, talented person who has both the desire and the capacity to improve the world.” Many of her clients have unrecognized or underutilized leadership skills. To summarize, it is ok to feel self-doubt and it is in fact normal. But if our self-doubt continues for a long period of time or interferes with our ability to do our work or to advance in our careers then we need to do something about it. One of the most effective methods of overcoming self-doubt is Mindfulness Meditation. According to Marian Smith, mindfulness teacher in Vancouver, self-compassion practices teach us how to: handle difficult emotions with greater ease motivate ourselves with kindness rather than criticism increase our emotional strength & resilience admit our shortcomings & forgive ourselves when needed relate wholeheartedly to others & be more authentically ourselves Mindfulness meditation is taught all over the world. If you live in the Vancouver area I highly recommend Marian Smith as a teacher.  

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The Mysterious Introvert

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , ,

The Mysterious Introvert   Do you know any introverts? We are the quiet ones. We prefer our own company. And we certainly don’t like public speaking? Or do we? Introverts are full of contradictions. We often confuse people and sometimes we even confuse ourselves. What is an introvert you ask? When I started writing my book The Dynamic Introvert I discovered how little I understood introversion and how little I knew myself. My Awakening!  Let me give you an example, a few years ago I worked on a management team for a large non-profit organization. One Monday morning Susan, the head of the physiotherapy department, stopped and asked me how my weekend had been. I paused to consider her question and then instead of responding to her immediately I had a conversation with myself, in my HEAD: I thought, “should I tell her about the hike I went on yesterday? or should I tell her about the dinner party I organized on Saturday? Or? All of a sudden I noticed that her eyes had glazed over and she was walking away. The fact that she walked away struck me as odd but it wasn’t until I started doing research for my book that the light bulbs started going off!!! It’s no wonder people are confused. For decades it was believed that introverts were in the minority, at least in North America, and compared to extroverts, we were described as: withdrawn, boring, unsociable, shy, not high in confidence, and self-centred. Who was deliberately spreading this inaccurate information? Was there a conspiracy? Ever since psychiatrist Carl Jung introduced the personality traits of introversion and extroversion to the world, about 100 years ago, we’ve been told that extroverts comprise a whopping two-thirds of the population. So in order to be successful introverts have tried really hard to act like extroverts; it seemed as if extroverts got all the breaks: the best jobs, the promotions and other opportunities. But in reality there are as many introverts as extroverts. Self-Preservation 101: (the introverted brain) Another thing you should know is that introverts are easily aroused. All joking aside it doesn’t take much for us to become overstimulated. Our brains are wired differently from extrovert’s brains. We have more blood flow and electrical activity in the “neo cortex”. When this happens our brains may “shut down” and stop functioning. A few years ago I was at a Toastmasters Evaluation workshop. In the morning we listened to some great speakers and in the afternoon we broke into small groups. In my small group I was told that I would be summarizing our discussion and reporting back to the plenary session. That’s when my difficulties began. I didn’t know it at the time but my brain was highly aroused by all the activity and noise in the room and I quickly became overwhelmed. We were in a LARGE, NOISY room and it seemed as if everyone was talking at once. I tried to write down the comments that people were making so that I could summarize them but the more I tried to focus the more my brain BUZZED until eventually it shut down. At least that’s what it felt like! Later on when I was asked to report on our group’s discussion, my mind went blank, and I stumbled over my report. I was mortified. Looking back I now realize that I should have excused myself from the working group and found a quiet spot to THINK and process all of the information that I had taken in. The Mysterious Introvert To some people we are mysterious but to others we are downright annoying. It’s fairly easy to know who the extroverts are. They are the life of the party…the person with the lampshade on his or her head surrounded by a circle of laughing friends. In contrast, the introverts are lined up along the wall looking like they would rather be anywhere else. Or is it the opposite? In reality an introvert is not always easy to spot. We may, in fact, be the life of the party. Pass the lampshade please! Where we really get into trouble is in the workplace. We drive the extroverts crazy because in meetings we don’t say very much and they have to try to guess what we are thinking. The extroverts feel that we are unprepared or simply don’t have any opinions, so they dominate more; and the introverts stop trying. And they may even disappear…in plain sight. But it’s not completely our fault. Blame it on our brains. When we take in a lot of new information we need to think about it before we discuss it. Extroverts have the advantage here because they process information by talking about it. One solution is to raise our hands and wait to be recognized, which doesn’t always work. Another is to join Toastmasters and find our voices! Introverts of the world unite indeed!!! This post was adapted from a speech that I gave recently at my Toastmasters Club.  

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Are You Questioning the Status Quo

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in Introverts, LeadershipTagged , , , , , , , , ,

Are You Questioning the Status Quo? Perhaps one of the most crucial—and most difficult—aspects of being a leader is the need to continually question the status quo. Most of us don’t like constant change but we risk losing out on opportunities to grow if we refuse to consider alternatives. A few years ago a friend and fellow introvert told me he thought that questioning the status quo was difficult for introverts. Of course he was speaking from his own experience but I too have found myself afraid to speak up when the stakes were high. Looking back I realize that this was situational and that it was most difficult to for me to speak up when I was in in a management meeting and I was competing with other managers. Perhaps my voice was too quiet or I hadn’t yet “found my voice” or my confidence. Perhaps I didn’t feel safe in speaking up against decisions that were being made by people in more senior leadership positions. A recent review of an online thesaurus provided the following synonyms for challenging the status quo: cause trouble, complain, protest, disagree, make waves, etc. If these are the words that are reserved for people who do speak up then it’s no wonder that many of us prefer to keep quiet. Of course there were other situations when it was easier for me to challenge the process—when I was urging my own team to reach higher goals or develop new programs or services or when I was challenging myself to learn something new. I first came across the concept of challenging the status quo or process in The Leadership Challenge written by James Kouzes and Barry Posner. In their book the authors focus on two main areas: searching for opportunities and experimenting and taking risks. It can be risky to speak up but if you are fortunate to work in an organization that recognizes and rewards you for challenging the process your job will be that much easier. Change can evoke feelings of fear or powerlessness. But it is also a fact of life and leaders are in the business of helping people and organizations change successfully. What can we do to prepare ourselves and the people who work in our organizations? Start by preparing yourself. Answer the following questions and then discuss your answers with your boss or with a coach or colleague. STOP & REFLECT Why is challenging the process difficult? Is it more difficult for introverts than for extroverts? When have I challenged the process? Was I successful? What did I learn about myself? In what situations would I find it easy to challenge the process? In what situations would I find it difficult to challenge the process? How can I make it both safe and rewarding for others to speak up and suggest improvements or changes?   Challenging the status quo is one of the most powerful skills that we can learn. I’d like to leave you with a quote from Lolly Daskal who reminds us: “Don’t challenge for challenge’s sake; learn from the experience.”   The Dynamic Introvert!

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The Power Of Giving

By Lesley TaylorPosted on Posted in IntrovertsTagged , , , , , , , , , ,

The Power of Giving 1.  There is more to giving than the exchange of gifts! Greetings! For most of us it is traditional to give gifts to family and friends during the holiday season. But how many of us extend our giving to those outside this close circle? Recently I came across the book The Power of Serving Others, by Gary Morsch and Dean Nelson. Gary Morsch is a physician and the founder of the Heart to Heart Organization which provides relief to people around the globe. Dean Nelson is a journalist. Gary and Dean’s message is: You can start where you are! 1.  Everyone has something to give. 2.  Most people are willing to give it if they see the need and the opportunity. 3.  Everyone can do something for someone right now. There are MANY benefits for those of us who serve others. For instance, giving to others, in whatever way we can, gives our lives meaning.    Scientists have been busy studying the effects of giving on human health & behavior. In fact scientists are now discovering that “serving others is part of our genetic code”.  In March an article in Science reported that “people who spend more of their income on others are happier than people who spend more on themselves”. There are numerous ways you can give to others: volunteering and donating to charity are two of the most common, but there are other opportunities to make a difference. Kiva is a microfinance organization that is making it possible for us to transform the lives of people by giving them “micro loans”. In fact you can support someone by lending them as little as $25.00. This is possible because Kiva helps us to connect with others who are also interested in “micro lending”. Kiva’s mission is to connect people through lending for the sake of alleviating poverty. This organization makes it possible for us to lend small amounts of money to entrepreneurs around the world. You won’t get a financial return on your money but your original investment will be returned and you will have made a huge difference in someone’s life. There is very little risk involved as the majority of loan recipients repay their loans. You can find out more by checking out Kiva’s website below. Finally, if you still need a reason to do something for others this holiday season, another research study has found, “that people who focused on themselves were more likely to have coronary heart disease, than people who focused on others.” Remember, you can do something right now!  As you make plans to celebrate the upcoming holiday season think about one small thing you can do to help someone else. Gumboot Rules These wonderful rules for life come from the Gumboot Garden Café in Roberts Creek B.C.: ·       The best things in life aren’t things ·       Never judge a day by the weather ·       Tell the truth—there’s less to remember ·       Speak softly and wear a loud shirt ·       Goals are deceptive—the unaimed arrow never misses ·       Age is relative—when you are over the hill you pick up speed ·       There are two ways to be rich, make more or desire less ·       Beauty is internal—looks mean nothing…and for those of us living on the wet, west coast…NO RAIN…NO RAINBOWS This month’s favorite websites: www.kiva.org This organization provides micro loans to people around the world who live in poverty. These people are entrepreneurs who need small loans to become self-reliant. I have been supporting KIVA for years. If you are travelling on the Sunshine Coast you really must stop in Roberts Creek and experience The Gumboot Café! This post was originally written for my coaching website and appeared as e-Newsletter #9, November/December, 2008 Lesley at www.thedynamicintrovert.com

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